The inventory……..

And so the year of our Lord, Two Thousand and Ten comes to an end tonight. I am not sure how I feel about it’s passing quite yet. The fact that it closes out the first decade of the 21’st Century and the advance in age that implies-perhaps puts a more somber reflection on my thoughts than might have been the case more than a few years ago.

For me, the first decade of the twenty first century was pretty good. I escaped from mind numbing , soul destroying,  drudgery of suburban existence-to enter a brave new world. One filled with excitement, travel, beautiful women, and a lot more adventure than I had ever thought possible. Regrettably, the end of this decade finds me back in the country where that drudgery was and continues to exist, and one of my deepest of regrets of this past year is that I have not been able to effectively change that.

However, when I made the decision to return to the Whining States of America, I actually did so with a pretty clear idea of the difficulties I would face. The simple truth was that I have to come face to face with the fact that my earning years are getting shorter than I would like to admit, there is no lottery payout or sugar daddy waiting in my future, and because of the outcome of choices made earlier in life, I have to play the cards I have been dealt.  When I made the decision some two years ago, there were a couple of opportunities to go to Korea at the time-but they would have been dead ends and I knew that at the time.

The consolation, if it can be called that, is that I do like the company I am working for-and they have been very good to me.  My company is a good company to work for, and I have been involved in a lot of interesting projects. There is churn on the horizon that is lurking just ahead as new contracts loom on the horizon-but I have hopes that we will at least win some of the work-and if we don’t, well-every black cloud has to have a silver lining. I am resolved not to worry about it. Shopping Mall?  It blows-but for all my complaining about it-I am very aware that things could be worse. A lot worse. That said, it sure is not Tokyo, Hong Kong, Singapore, or Bangkok and I do miss those places so. ( Especially Tokyo).

It was because of my opportunities with my current company that I got to go Romania, which was among the highlights of this year for me. For all the ridiculous hours and the foolish requirements that were laid on by the project’s managers, the privilege of being in a foreign country’s capital, working on something important, much of it with my bosses 4000 miles away, made the whole thing worth it.

I returned to Japan this year, for the first time since leaving, and next year I hope to return to both Japan and Hong Kong-for at least some brief sojourns. ( Preferably solo). That was another big plus-as well as the overseas business travel I got to make. Can’t complain about any of that-and I won’t.

But in approaching the new year-I tend to be more than a little mindful of the Yom Kippur aspects of the end of one year and the arrival of another. Sure, New Year’s is a time for celebrations, but it is also a time that God balances the books, and makes decisions about who wins and who loses. I’ve always found it interesting that in the Jewish tradition the day of atonement is found in conjunction with the new year. Non-Jews actually do the same thing-even if we don’t realize it. After all, what is a new year’s resolution but a desire to change the things you feel you did not do right in the last year?

Maybe that too, is a function of getting older and recognizing the choices you stupidly make in youth, rise up later and box you in. And that the price of escape from that box goes up exponentially sometimes as time passes. We always hear about the person who re-invents themselves in middle age-but who tells the story of the other 9 or 10 folks who try the same thing and get their asses handed to them? No one does. Somebody should.

So on balance, I have a lot to be grateful for and I know it. I take comfort in that and will work hard in the coming year to make a well thought out plan to return to the place I wish to be. In the meantime, one has to enjoy the journey at whatever station the train is currently stopped at-because ( and I do believe this) joy and fun can be found anywhere, if you make yourself look for it.

As for greater events in the news and the direction of the country I am currently living in-I am less optimistic.  Quite simply, the spoiled children have taken center stage politically, and they are going cry and whine, and make life a living hell for the adults among us-who have recognized that the world has changed. And that this nation better change too-or it will be in real trouble, a lot more than an fictional fate that gets reiterated again and again by Fox News and its learning impaired viewership. I’m not sure what it will take to rectify the problem-short of loading every like minded village idiot at Pajamas Media or this place onto a bus and sending it careening into a deep gorge. With Michelle Bachmann and Sarah Palin strapped into kiddie seats in the front. Ahh,  that makes for a pleasant afternoons reverie-but seriously, I am not hopeful that the tone of our discourse will improve. Talk radio and the Tea Bag nation cannot afford to have the reasonable man return to the room.

So the net effect will be that the world will pass the US by-and we will have been too self absorbed about non-issues . The real thing to be concerned about, as Sir Robin of Locksley pointed out, will continue to be ignored.  As will the fact that 2011 will mark a decade that the US has been at war and there will be no end in sight-except for the victims of that war whose lives will be silenced.

Ah,  but twas always thus and will always be, you say.  You will forgive me if I reject that line of thinking-and getting back to the Yom Kippur idea- what does is say of us and the Deity we believe in,  if we cannot strive to see misery eliminated- sooner rather than later? Things can be better here-and by choosing to make it better the world will not end. But our fellow Americans will live better and longer. So too will the rest of the world-if we would only believe in it.

I’ll publish my own “lists” over the weekend-I’ve been consciously avoiding politics till today. There is a lot of 2010 to look back on-both personally and news wise.

So in balance, for me, I’m thankful for the year that has past and hopeful for the year that is to come. Hopefully,  things will get even better in 2011-for both me and the world.

Happy New Year.