Doing my taxes tonight-which are more complex than last year. ( That’s both a good news and a bad news story-suffice it to say while I am unhappy where I am living, I am very happy with my company. 🙂 ). Unlike my teabagging associates however, I am not complaining about it.
What I am going to complain about is the latest Tiger Woods commercial though. Its creepy-and in my opinion, uncalled for. Screw you Mr. Payne-shall we discuss Augusta National’s membership policy? At least Tiger admits women………..
Turns out though, I’m not the only one creeped out.
You may not have heard much about this, but Mr. Woods appears to enjoy sleeping with women other than the one he’s married to. It didn’t get much attention from the Goddamned Liberal Media, I know.
However, the people who did hear about it were plenty spooked. A professional athlete carousing with women of loose morals? You don’t say! Why, you’d never see such shenanigans in the NFL. Or the NHL. Or the NBA. Or Major League Baseball. Just what is the sporting world coming to, anyhow?…..
That sort of conduct, it was decided, just won’t do. It won’t do at all. Yet, it wasn’t enough for every journalist in the Western Hemisphere to condemn Tiger for doing exactly the same sort of thing they would, if they could only get away with it. No, that wasn’t quite enough. Golf is a sport of men in plaid pants played for men who wish they were that stylish. No hero of the game would ever be balls-deep in Hollywood porn stars and the greasy spoon waitresses of the nation ever again.
It was decided that young Tiger needed to be chastised by his father. On television.
Oh, did I mention that Tiger’s dad died almost four years ago? That too was in the news.
Luckily, Nike, which pays Woods the Younger eleventy jillion dollars a year is capable of all manner of miracles, up to and including raising the fucking dead to give their celebrity offspring a stern talking to as said offspring looked solemnly into the camera and takes it.
I think it’s official, Tiger Woods has absolutely no dignity left.
On the other hand-my real hero in Golf is out in front of Augusta selling his new book:
