I was at lunch with a co-worker yesterday. As it happened I was eating an oyster Po-boy sandwich when Tiger woods speech came on the television in the restaurant / bar we were eating at.
The sound was turned down but it sure seemed like it went on for a hell of a lot longer than it should have gone.
I still feel that Tiger should confine his “apology” to just three words: LICK MY ASS!
Tiger Woods has the misfortune to be living in the wrong country-had this been Europe, there would have a polite “ho hum” when it was revealed that he had a mistress or two-and then all would have gotten on with more important pursuits.
But not here-here where sexual hypocrisy is the rule of the day-Tiger has to grovel on TV. And we still have never gotten the answer to the most burning question of this affair-what was Mrs. Woods doing to hack the program at home?
Repeat after me, everyone. “You. Can’t. Be. Addicted. To. A. Biological. Imperative.” It just isn’t done.
Have you ever heard somebody complain that they’re taking too much air for their own good? Same principle applies.
By the way, if you honestly believe that you’re addicted to pussy, you can save yourself five weeks and forty thousand dollars by slamming a car door on your penis. That’s sure to work, certainly better than Cunt Rehab with Dr. Fucking Drew will.
Here is what Tiger should have said.
H/T to my Canadian Counterpart!