Feeling naked.

Jaime Escalante: You only see the turn, you don’t see the road ahead.(From the movie-Stand and Deliver).

That quote is racing around my head these last few days, repeatedly. I am remembering the graphically the scene in the movie where Escalante and one of his students are at a “Y” in the road, and the student-who is driving-has to make a decision which way to turn. He makes the wrong choice.

For some depressing reason, that scene-of being at the “Y” in the road is a good analogy for where I am life-wise right at this juncture in time.

I guess its is semi-official now. The end of the line in my current posting that is. Friday, I turned in my Blackberry, the modern version of “turning in your badge and your gun”. To say, I felt stripped of something-is an understatement. I walked around my bedroom Friday night, resisting the urge to go check the non existent BB and the non existent e-mail that was no longer on my dresser.

So what lies ahead now? Who knows? 😉 .  All in good time my friends. As Mr. Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob would say, ” More will be revealed.” In the interim-I am now a part of America’s rising unemployment rate. First time I have been without a job since I was 16.  I’ll be in line filling out an application at Wal-Mart on Wednesday. I’m holding out for the greeter position-but I  may end up with a black back support and stocking shelves.

To paraphrase something Fred Thompson once said, ” The Russians don’t take a dump with out a plan son, and senior [retired] Navy Captains, don’t jump off this particular cliff without having thought the matter through.” That’s the “lie du jour” I tell myself today. Tomorrow, I may have a better one to tell myself.

 At the “Y” in the road all you see is the turn. You don’t know if you fucked it all up till much later-usually right before you are about to run out of gas. :-(.

“The world needs ditch diggers too, you know!”

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