Richard asked me a while back-what the S.O. thought about life in America. I promised a response.
To appreciate the way her little mind thinks-it is important to understand a couple of key background facts. Otherwise the ideas won't make a lot of sense; or they will seem more hateful than they really are. I've been with her long enough, I understand most of it-the rest I just ignore. Its a great arrangement.
Item #1: The S.O.-because she is Japanese is part of a unique group. Key on that word unique and then add the word superior. She believes that the Japanese are the most unique species on the planet. And that their culture is superior to anyone else's. That sounds racist on the surface-and probably is. But don't tell her that, she will never believe it. To her its a statement of fact-kind of like saying " I know the sun will come up tomorrow". A statement of the laws of the physical universe. So that tends to color her view of anyone who is not Japanese ( including me). To her, it is just the order of the universe. Let me add that she is a kind soul and will do anything for just about anyone-once she overcomes her inherent selfishness.
Item #2: Cleanliness is not just next to Godliness to the S.O. It IS Godliness. She is obssessed with cleaning. Anything and everything-and people who don't set that standard ( as most Americans don't) are not quite up there in the acceptability rankings. Another reason to marvel that she likes me. But it goes a long way to explaining a lot about her.
So what does she think about the USA?
Regarding item 2-she thinks our standards for levels of cleanliness in public places are appalling. When she sees litter on the side of the road it disgusts her. She also does not understand why we don't have brigades of cleaning ladies out at shopping malls.
Like all Japanese, she marvels at the sheer size of the country. When we first got back here-it was always something of a chore to explain to her the realities of the geography here. E.G. a drive from state to state was not a short journey, except in Rhode Island and Deleware.
That said-she does not understand why we don't have decent trains here. On that we are in total agreement. We miss the train system in Japan.
She thinks Americans are by and large, incredibly fat. And she does not understand in the least why we put up with it. Bear in mind, her definition of fat-includes a lot of people who are only slightly overweight. But when it comes to other women-she allows no grace pounds. No hour glass figure-you are a porkette. Since I view the world through beer goggles, I am just a bit more forgiving over here. ( Fat women need loving too!).
She thinks American cuisine is "greasy" for the most part-and she truly can't get why we love fried food so much. She also can't understand why our portions are so large or why we eat so much.
She despises the way we tip in this country. She has no qualms about using and abusing the serving class here-and thinks the overall level of service in restaurants, hotels, and on airlines is atrocious. Coming from a country where they don't tip and waitresses are supposed to be happy and apologetic when they hear the word "Sumimasen"-it is not surprising. But the tipping thing really drives her nuts. Since I am a tip your barmaid well kind of guy, she gets frustrated. I've learned to just ignore it. When she actually gets a J-O-B, and starts buying dinners-then she can tip how she wants to. She and I have something in common in that we both can't stand the way passengers are treated on airlines in this country. She also does not understand why we put up with lines-specifically why they don't have more people working ( as at TSA lines) to make them shorter.
She believes the fact that America is a car society has made Americans lazy. To that end, I think she has a point. I lost weight when I was in Romania walking about a mile from the subway to work each day.
She loves the fact that American houses normally have yards. ( I hate it-because I hate yardwork). The idea of growing things at your house fascinates her. I think she has planted every available square inch of available space. Of course she never lived in a house before we got here-so its a novelty to her. I've been there done that. If I want to see grass-I can go to a golf course.
Regarding politics-she is amazed that I get so passionate about the subject. To her-based on her Japanese frame of reference- she thinks most Americans are too serious about the subject. Since in Japan, the bureaucracy runs the government regardless of who is in power-it kind of astounds her that we Americans fight about it so much.
She absolutely does not get the Tea Party. ( Another thing we have in common). But its for different reasons. I don't get them because I know they are wrong. She does not get them because she does not understand why anyone would bother to care. She was surprised when I told her how many people don't vote here though. Coming from Japan-she thinks of it as a duty, something you have to do regardless of your personal desire.
She loves the fact that we have a throwaway society. That means lots of stuff ends up in second hand stores and garage sales. It bothers her not a whit to buy things at Goodwill and then try to pass it off as brand name if she can.
American sports drive her nuts. She has very little use for American football. ( Too many rules). Yakyu (Baseball) takes too long. She likes to watch tennis and golf though. She will watch a golf tournament on TV where I usually will not.
American reality shows both fascinate and repel her. She has become addicted to "America's got talent", Project Runway, Antique Road Show, and Dancing with the Stars. She also loves the travel and gardening shows on public TV. She is, on the whole oblivious to the news. She hates shows with violence. She won't watch Sci fi or war movies.
She is very deficient in her knowledge of 20th century history. The period of World War II is a blank to her-I've had to explain a lot of things that are common knowledge even among the dumbest of Americans. She really does not understand why we venerate the Civil War. As far as she is concerned we should just forget it ever happened. She HATES visiting Civil War battlefields. (Something I like).
Which also brings up an important point. White people and African Americans are all the same to her. Other Asians? Not so much. To her there is a hierarchy of how she looks down on them. She can't stand (in order) Chinese, Koreans, Vietnamese, Indians and Filipinos. She hates Mexicans-but only because they do construction and therefore she faults them for the noise they make building houses in the neighborhood. Again-its different than actual overt racism. She will talk to any of them-politely and help anyone. But don't kid yourself, she knows in her heart who is the "chosen race".
That is actually a misnomer. As it typed that-I realized that she does not view her own people as the Israelis do. That they have a special place with the Almighty because of their suffering. That does not capture it. The Japanese don't have a special advocate because of Kamisama-He just built them to be superior from the start.
And she doesn't understand me very much-she can't understand why I like parties and wild times-she thinks I need to mellow out and enjoy domesticity. When I tell her I hate that lifestyle -she just shakes her head.
Its a wonder we get along at all-but we do. Perhaps our mutual selfishness works.