Live blogging game five….

S.O is watching " Antiques Roadshow" on the big TV. Accordingly I am in the bedroom watching the series. So , just like keeping score at the ball park-I thought I'd try something new.  Live blogging the game. Warning notice-profanity is likely to follow.

First inning:

Yankees come out with that smug self assurance. Get a run early. Think they are coasting. Now come the Phillies.

Good call on the hit batsmen-that's gotta hurt to get hit in the hand like that. Need Utley to hit a homer and get this boy home with no effort.

THANK YOU GOD! UTLEY POUNDS ONE OUT TO RIGHT FIELD! Three run homer-and its just gotten quieter in blue collar bars in Bronxland now.  Take that Mr. Steinbrenner! Those of us who root for small market teams deserve a break from your obscenely rich payroll.

But the Yankees get out of the inning with just a two run deficit.

Second inning.

Yanks seem to be able to foul when they need to.

6-3  play-Two out. Phillies pitcher looks like he is feeling the stress.

Phillie up now. Need some insurance runs. Beer comercial-I think I need one!

Pop up end of the inning. GRRR.

Third Inning.

No rest for the Phillies. No runs either. Vicktorino may be out for the game-That's not good.. Ryan Howard needs a homer about now. Utley steals second! Lets go Phillies! No pressure on Howard……..

Walk for Howard. Jason  Wirth could be a real hero now……………..

BASE HIT UP THE MIDDLE! Utley rounds the corner and beats the throw at the plate. 4-1!

Ibanez hits one to right! 5-1 now.   YEA BABY. F*ck the F*cking Yankees!

My son just called! He was calling about his birthday present. Talking to him and trying to type.

I love that commerical about drinking and smoking ("But you smoke every time you drink".) So do something else when you drink-like have sex!

Son heads off for his B-day dinner. Backt to watching the game. Burnett does not look happy on the Yankee bench.

6-4 to…..oh forget it. 6-1! No double play for you!

And the hits just keep on coming. Lee gets a hit. In real baseball-the pitcher bats.

Victorino on deck-good news. Rollins needs a hit.

S.O. putters in the kitchen. Strike three and the Yankees are probably happy about that.

Fourth inning.

Yanks up. Need to settle down and get these guys out. Yankees are always dangerous-and they need to be taught the meaning of respect.

Three up three down.

Down go the Phillies in the bottom of the fourth. Next three innings are critical. Drinking another beer-while I channel surf some commercials.

Fifth Inning.

See what I mean? A walk and another damn hit for Jeter! Two on. This better not be the start of something. Damn, first baseman can't get the throw off-I'll bet he thought it was going foul. Hensky scores. 6-2.

Whew! Got out that half of the inning with only a little damage. Could have been a lot worse. Where is the damn fast forward button?

Phillies at bat-thought for sure that was going to be a double. What a catch by Gardener of the Yankees-you could hear his shoulder hit the wall here in Alabama. Wirth was sure it was hit. That had to hurt.

Fuckety Fuck Fuck-Jeter gets the out on Feliz.

Sixth inning.

Where do they recruit the ball girls from? Gotta keep the Yankees distracted. Maybe she could lift up her sweat shirt.

Base hit to center with two out. Strike three down he goes. Off to the bottom of the sixth.

Stop picking on Cole Hamel. I can't wait for the season to be over!

Rollins up-two out nobody on. A solo homer would be all right with me. Quit holding your beer guy-drink it or spit it. ( Camera seems stuck on a guy holding the bottom swill in his cup. Rollins hits a "billiard shot" left of second up into the out field. WTF is  biiliard shot?

I think its so funny how the pitchers hold up their glove to hid their lip movements. Are we a paranoid society or what?

Hand must be working OK now-Vicotorino up at bat.

ERROR! Wild pitch my ass. But I was happy top see the ball bounce up anyway.

Thanks to Jeter its all for naught. Bastard. On to the top of the seventh-Gotta go stretch a bit. And grab a beer!

Black girl in a black dress with a black taco anyone? Once you try black………….

Seventh Inning.

Yankees at bat make me nervous. Both the announcers are making me nervous too-didn't the older guy do the Mets? That still makes him a New Yorker.

Strike out number three for Cliff Lee! Back to the bench for you buddy. Cliff Lee seems like he is in the groove tonight. No Matsui in the line up tonight, which saves me an arguement with the S.O. She likes him.

It looks cold in Philadelphia. Shatterbat and and the Phillies retire the side. Seventh inning stretch.

YEA BABY! UTLEY RINGS THE BELL! Home run to right . Smacks a powerful blast on a 3-2 pitch. That ought shut these Yankees up. And a blonde bimbo gets the ball-she's kissing it. I'll be that 's not the only………moving on.

Twelve-count 'em twelve-strike outs for Howard. Werth comes to bat.

Ibanez SMACKS ONE OFF THE CAR SIGN! Another homer! 8-2.

I'm liking it.

End of that inning.

Eighth inning!

And the Yankees refuse to die. The SO- guess who picks NOW to start asking me questions about our trip next month-asking me to google some antique fair……..and finding directions to it- while the Yankees chalk up two runs and Cliff Lee gets sent packing,,,,,,,,,,,,,GRRRRR! 8-4 now. This is what gets women abused. She couldn't wait 40  minutes?

And as I thought- the damn place is no where, where she thought it was.

Rodriguez gets advanced to third with one out. This is not good-especially with the Yankees lineup. Rodriguez scores on the tag-up. 8-5……….. Get these guys out.

Matsui is coming off the bench? What else can go wrong?

Out of the inning-but it was costly. Dear Madonna-no BJ for A-rod this evening. Please?

Bottom of the eigth-time to answer the mail. Rollins on deck.

6-4-3 double play. Damnit!  Gotta get some power.

Well that was quick. Yankees back to bat. Thanks sweetheart, thanks a lot. You jinxed them.

Ninth inning.

Stop bothering me woman! Can't you see the world may be ending here?

Tying run coming to bat, NO OUTS. Jeter on deck. Er -excuse me, at bat. Stop bothering me woman!

6-4-3 but another run scores. Every one on their feet now in Phillie. Two outs-S.O. finally calls her sister in Japan. She could have dome that a few minutes ago.

GIVE HIM THE HEATER!

Er maybe not-base hit up the middle.

A-rod on Deck.

WHOO BOY ITS OVER!  An eight run game should not be this much of a nail biter. Life is going to be tough in the bronx Wednesday.

But it ain't over yet-F*ck the F*ck Yankees!