Missing from the tagalog dictionary

The word satire must be missing from the language of Tagalog.

From Hemlock comes this story of a Hong Kong writer who decided to have some fun and make a point:

It is clear that something is up as the two Filipino elves report for duty at Perpetual Opulence Mansions this morning, not just earlier but distinctly grumpier than usual. The pair of domestic helpers have two basic moods – sweet-natured and homicidal – and today is one of the rare occasions they are in the latter. A few groceries purchased on the way here are left on the living room table in little pink plastic bags to unwrap and store themselves, the kitchen floor gets a cursory wipe, and a few items are thrown into the washing machine, which doesn’t get switched on.

The only chore that they attend to at all seriously is knife-sharpening, using a black wet stone. But it is not my cutlery they are grinding into razor sharp condition. These are strange, curved daggers slightly reminiscent of the Nepalese kukri and no doubt just as lethal. After a while, a sheet of paper is tossed in the air and glides smoothly onto the gleaming metal and down to the floor, sliced silently in two. Someone is in big trouble.

That someone is Chip Tsao, who used his column in last week’s HK to test Filipino attitudes to satire by saying he would fire his maid if the Philippines enforced its recent claim on the Spratly Islands. Like every inch of the South China Sea from Haiphong Harbour to the end of the runway at Changi Airport to Brunei’s oil platforms to the mouth of Manila Bay, these rocky outcrops are, and have been for many thousands of years, the greatly cherished territory of the Glorious Motherland, and anyone who suggests otherwise is an evil Dalai Lama-loving splittist who hurts the feelings of all the Chinese people.

Well it would seem the nation whose number one export crop is people-does not take kindly to having that pointed out to them. Especially by a Chinese man. Around Hong Kong and back in Manila-they have gone nuts about it:

Pia slams Chip Tsao, HK Magazine

Senator Pia S. Cayetano today joined calls to demand a public apology from a top Hong Kong publication and one of its columnists over a recent opinion article that made a racial slur against Filipinos over the country’s right to claim the Spratly Islands.

Cayetano, chair of the Senate committee on social justice, said Filipinos deserve no less than a formal public apology for the opinion piece entitled “The War At Home” written by Chip Tsao which appeared on the March 27 edition of the widely-circulated “HK Magazine.”

Tsao’s column depicted the Philippines as a “nation of servants” not worthy of claiming the Spratys from China, as the latter employs hundreds of thousands of Filipino domestic helpers on very low wages.

“Instead of contributing to intelligent discussions on ways to resolve the Spratly’s dispute, Tsao only succeeded in eliciting hatred and sowing more confusion not only among Filipinos but maybe even among his fellow Chinese who are not aware of the intricacies of the issue.”

“Let’s not dignify Tsao’s views by not stooping down to his level. We shouldn’t allow ourselves to be bullied by people with narrow minds like him. HK Magazine and Tsao must apologize for insulting Filipinos, and they should pledge not to commit this mistake again.”

There will be no vacations in Angeles City any time soon for Mr. Tsao-the Philippines put him on an immigration blacklist.

Not sure why-he said he was sorry:

MANILA, Philippines – After admitting he crossed the line in calling the Philippines a “nation of servants” in his article, HK Magazine columnist Chip Tsao approached Philippine authorities in Hong Kong Wednesday night to personally extend his apologies, the Department of Foreign Affairs (DFA) said Thursday.

“Mr. Chip Tsao went to the Philippine Consulate General in Hong Kong last night and conveyed to consulate officials and Filipino community leaders his ‘most sincere apologies for the offense he had caused’,” DFA spokesperson Eduardo Malaya said in a text message to reporters.

I kind of wish they could get more upset about the national disgrace of millions of Filipinos having to work abroad because the mother country’s economy is so whacked. I’m not going to hold my breath waiting for that to happen.