A good story about the S.O.

Lots to talk about in the world these days-including the Obama Iraq tour 2008. However those things will have to wait for another time.

I had some fun with the S.O. in my previous post. I’m banking that she does not read the blog-but since I passed all of the condolences that were left on the blog to my family, all bets are off on that score. She will have a fit if she sees it-as was noted. Oh well.

I would like to offer another side though, which has driven home to me why I am very glad she came along. We had talked about her staying behind and me flying, today I’m glad we came up the way we did.

As I may have noted before, one of the S.O.’s great gifts is that she has the ability to speak to anyone about anything and everything. It just comes naturally to her-and while her English versions can be somewhat choppy and confusing for someone who does not know her well to follow, she convey’s her ideas with a kind of bright, fresh, inquisitive manner that is infectious to other people. During this time in my parent’s house she has been a facilitator of sorts. She has kept all involved here occupied in one way or another and enable each of us to navigate our way conversationally around the 800 pound gorilla in the room. She has been particularly amazing to watch talking to my father. She is able to engage him, draw him out, and even has gotten to see a wistful smile and a small laugh on a couple of occassions. The rest of us cannot do that-our conversations bear the weight of 50 + years of baggage-but she can because she is something of an outsider, an observer of sorts if you will.

Last night we sat and talked with my father for over 3 hours- a miracle of sorts-with the S.O. asking questions of all  kinds. They in turn forced conversation from the rest  of us, either in the form of explanations or in the recounting of various parts of the history. She also asked my father rather innocuous questions an almost perfectly timed intervals, such that the allowed the tenor of the conversation to rise and fall. Later as we laid in the bed in the room-I thanked her for that.

Then this morning, unannounced and unrequested, after she had gotten my father a real breakfast and did the dishes, she launched into cleaning my father’s house from top to bottom. She did not touch anything of value, but out came vacuum cleaners, dust rags, and she scrubbed cabinets all around. When she was finished (I was pressed into service too-so don’t think there was any rest for the wicked). She kept my father engaged by having him point out various locations of various appliances and what he wanted done with things around them. In the mean time, my sister was able to be on the phone with the florist, the minister, and other things all out of earshot of my father. It seemed almost like it was deliberately planned that way, if I did not know better. She simply cannot abide a dwelling that is not pristine and neat,  no matter who the owner is. She is now in the shower cleaning off the accumulated sweat and dirt. With all the back and forth to the hospital no one had had time to attend to anything but basic necessities. Amazing to me-when she could have just left well enough alone. Yet, she somehow knew that this thing would be useful at this particular juncture in time.

She is stressing about meeting my daughter I know. This will be the first time she has met either of my children, although she has talked to my son on the phone. My sense is that its a territorial thing of sorts-she does not want my “old” life intruding into what she regards as “her” life. Sigh, the dynamics of this little drama will be interesting to watch unfold. Truth be told I am stressing about it too. Both she and I know that all will be reported back to my ex-wife and her family. I sure as heck do not need any more rocks to throw at me-deposited in the arsenal.

However knowing her, she will be all of charm and graciousness. Then when we get back to Shopping  Mall USA-I will become an emotional punching bag.

Everything has it’s price, and this is one I will bear gladly if we can all just get through this week smoothly.