Or why you are always winning when Hillary is losing.
WARNING NOTICE! Strong language and sexual innuendo follows. If the idea of a woman on her kness “taking one for the team” bothers you, you can stop reading now.
Dear Hillary,
I’ve been watching the repeated media (re) broadcasts of your so called “concession” speech and I have only one thing to say:
You have got the whole thing all wrong, you poor, pant suit wearing, non supportive wife-you.
You did not fail to win the nomination because voters did not want to vote for a woman. They just did not want to vote for you. There are plenty of women out there who could command the country’s respect. Its just unfortunate that in your case, there are not enough electoral Skycaps to get all of your baggage to the curb.
But like a typical American woman, you will find some way to blame it all on the men-and in the process deny them the love they are seeking.
And yet you still think its all their fault.
Sorry sweetheart, but maybe-just maybe-you had been able to perform where it counted, you’d be on your way to the nomination. Like an American housewife, you figured that just your mere presence in the same house was satisfying enough and that you could get your way without so much as a “thank you” roll in the hay. Now, despite all the rhetoric, you will be in the same position as the wife, who having come home to find all of hubby’s stuff gone and a note saying that a life without sex is just not worth it, you will find some way to make it all his fault.
And borrowing a bit from another author who was not getting enough,” hell hath no fury like a frigid woman scorned”.
Except for the rest of us voters, we need more than just the promise of a payoff-over time taking care of one’s needs by himself just does not hack it. So like Mr Bill-we go off elsewhere in seeking our satisfaction.
In the end you have no one to blame but yourself. All it would have taken is a little TLC-starting back during the time when you were sleeping near the Oval Office.
Let me put it in the words of my Canadian counterpart:
If there really are women out there who think that Hillary’s defeat (which actually occurred several months ago by any mathematical standard) is evidence of sexism, then those women are idiots and proof that the Nineteenth Amendment to the Constitution should probably be reconsidered.
When the primaries started, Senator Clinton and, presumably, Congresswoman Ferraro were fine with the Democratic Party’s proportional allocation of delegates which has been the party rule since 1972. Now they argue that the only the popular vote should matter. In the beginning of this mess, they approved of not seating Michigan and Florida because they were “rogue states” under the party rules. Now “every vote should be counted” and disagreeing with that is comparable to slavery.
Allow me to suggest that if a white male candidate tried either one of those maneuvers, he’d be laughed right out of politics. Yet, Hillary Clinton hasn’t been. Instead, she’s being touted as the next majority leader of the United States Senate as I write this. Not bad … for a girl.
If the Democratic Party establishment and its primary voters were sexist, do you really think that Clinton would have been the presumed presidential nominee for eight fucking years? I somehow doubt it.
Now not to worry, dear shrill voiced Senator-Obama can’t get there from here. And like many a disgruntled housewife, you too will not cough it up when it could have made a difference.
Because deep down, it is all about you:
Expect Hillary to do for Obama what Ronald Reagan did for Gerald Ford or what Ted Kennedy did for Jimmy Carter; as little as they can possibly get away with. She wants to be positioned as the “I told you so” candidate next time out and that can’t happen if the two of them spend the next five months on a fucking wedding cake together.
And then you wonder why your husband takes long business trips to Thailand. At least in that place, one can get a return on his investment of hard earned money.
Speaking of that, the recrimations for Bill will make him wish he with back with Monica and the blue dress.
My advice? Drink heavily my boy-and stay on the road. For at least 4 years.