Far East Cynic

Duffleblog has a nice little post up on the graduation speech that the Academy graduates should have heard:

ANNAPOLIS, MD — From a podium in the United States Naval Academy’s storied Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium, President Barack Obama offered hearty congratulations and a bit of advice to an exultant field of 1047 graduates about to take their first step into lives of substance abuse, scandal, and despair.

 

 

 

“Today – in this single, fleeting moment – we all are just so proud you,” the president said in his commencement address. “Remember this, because it’s probably all downhill from here.”

Citing countless reports of adultery, alcoholism, rape, and dumbfounding incompetence discovered in the military’s officer corps, Obama painted a candid picture of what the nation’s best and brightest could look forward to upon entering the fleet as Navy ensigns and Marine Corps second lieutenants.

“Let’s face it,” the president told the expectant young officers. “The few of you that will be any good at your job at all will get out. The rest of you will be pushed through a broken promotion system that rewards mindless compliance with outdated standards over anything even vaguely resembling conscious human thought. As you rise through the ranks, you’ll receive awards and honors you don’t deserve and develop a wildly inflated sense of self, until finally you arrive in a position to grossly abuse the power and people in your charge. Give yourselves a round of applause.”

 

Just stirs your heart doesn't it?

And then came the part where SECNAV gave some practical life advice:

Oh, and to the 80 percent of you fools who will be married in the next month, a heartfelt Mazel Tov,” Mabus added. “Enjoy it while it lasts.”

“Frankly, if last year’s figures were any indication, an overwhelming number of you are headed for broken hearts and drawn-out custody battles – which makes sense when you consider the frequent deployments, dollar handjobs in Guam, and the fact that you’ve basically been prisoners on this campus for the last four years and have developed no social skills to speak of whatsoever.”

After reciting the oath of office, amid cheers from family and friends, the proud disasters-to-be filed across the stage to receive their diplomas and shake hands with their Commander-in-Chief.

 

But Bruce Dern already told us this 34 years ago:

Well, sorry for the lack of postings. Was in Israel all last week-and on the road again tomorrow. So for your viewing pleasure, here are a pix from Jerusalem. I was trying to shoot a picture of Jaffa Street when this girl decided to jump in front of the camera-so I took her picture instead:

Yea-her friend thought it was funny.

More Israel pictures tomorrow-it was a good trip learned a lot, and hit the long ball a few nights.

No further comment needed.

Truly, a great American.

For the other 14 bad ass people you have never met-check here.

Chloe: I haven't met that many happy people in my life. How do they act?

From the movie, The Big Chill

I have been back in Shopping Mall for the these past three days-taking meetings and combining it with a surprising stroll down memory lane. As with my previous visits and returns to the land of my birth, it is kind of like putting on a threadbare set of clothing, that is no longer stylish-but remains quite comfortable and still amazingly fits you and does not fit you-all at the same time.

My previous place of employ remained much the same as it ever was-good people toiling in a huge bureaucratic maze, with lots of talent and little empowerment. It was a joy to see the leadership pictures up without the scowling grimace of one LTG Patrick O'Reilly  staring out at you. Nonetheless, in talking to people, it was readily apparent that the carnage he initiated still remains, damage whose repair will take a long time to accomplish.

The SO, through a combination of whining and cajoling and pleading-has come along on this trip. She could have gotten her way a lot easier, with the simple and more efficient tool of sexual persuasion, but she seems to have locked that highly effective tool in her locker, never to be used again. That is , in itself, a most unacceptable situation and is going to be have to confronted eventually. When, I am not exactly sure-since a little voice inside of me tells me that she is perfectly content to have "shut down" sexually. What she fails to understand at all-is that this an unacceptable situation for me and I will not abide it for long. Its either put out or get out-and she has yet to discern that. Its clearly on my mind as pass through day after sexually frustrating day. 

But its not something I can solve now-and in my current mood is more of a digression from the surprised nostalgia that has been sweeping over me. Rather its in seeing before me the past few years and recognizing I as comfortable in dealing with them-if not at all happy in them. The happiest time of life was back in Japan, pre SO, and it seems as if the hand of time is a one way vehicle-that is never going to allow me to ever go back.

So now I am sitting in a coffee shop-waiting for my turn to go to the airport. I am awaiting my departure for the second leg of this journey to a major American metropolis ( a status that  Shopping Mall does not qualify for.) Because of her late addition to the trip-long after I had made my own travel arrangements for a mid day departure; I had to put her on a plane to that metropolis earlier this morning. I went by the house and took a look at it. All appears well and the tenants appear to be taking reasonably good care of the place. My one hope is that they will renew the lease for another year and spare me the financial agony and empty house would bring.

I don't think the world is going to end in 21 days-and I feel pretty confident 2013 is going to be a watershed year for me-in many ways, but now I have not the slightest inkling of what they may be. I actually caught myself contemplating what life might be like if I returned to this Godforsaken city. I continue to shiver at the the thought. Were it not for the presence of the S.O. I would drown those contemptible thoughts in a healthy dosage of premium quality booze. Unfortunately I can't-so for now its just better to pour out my heartfelt feelings through forgettable blogger prose, finish my coffee and prepare for the drive to the airport.

Happy December!

There will be no port visits to Pattaya or Phuket.

Wanchai, Orchard Towers, Lucky Plaza, Geylang and pretty much any place fun in the Philippines-Will be off limits.

Massagee in Ropppongi or the Honch? Forget it. Oh, and if you say you know what a soapie is? Stand by for NCIS to pay you a visit.

Picking up cute Japanese girls at Gas Panic? Your new, socially correct, feminist overlords will allow none of that. And don't  even think-of taking your NANPA prize back to a love hotel.

A nice walk up the hill in Itaewon or Texas Street?-completely out of the question.

Your cruises will be almost ten months long.

With curfews and liberty restrictions.

Don't even think of asking the Corpsman for Condoms.

Oh,  and lest we forget,  there will be a 2.1 Carrier Commitment in the Persian Gulf from now till hell freezes over.

You won't be able to go to Australia because of fuel costs-and if you do you will be expected to work on com-rel projects.

And you will get breathalyzed crossing the quarterdeck.

But hey, enjoy the Pacific anyway.

I'm sorry I never will get to meet you! Thank God for German and Australian tourists-to pick up the slack left by your absence!

And I'm back. Have been back for a couple of days-but tomorrow I am off again. Just time enough to do laundry. This time the travel is within Germany and I will be out of pocket for a couple of weeks.

I do plan to post some though-and I intend to use those opportunities to write about relationships. For two reasons really: one, its on my mind right now-as I read a book called The Happiness Project and two, I want an excuse to write some explicitly erotic prose. If you are prudish-or that is not your cup of tea, well, you can consider yourself fairly warned.

Only one day left in the month to get in a post on March Madness. Not basketball, but the Madness known as Women's History month. Yes, Yes, that oh so special time of the year when we get to celebrate the history that women want us to know about, while white washing the details they would rather just not see printed in the paper. Which is designed to be translated into its real meaning:

“Setting the bar for historical achievement so low-than any average everyday achievement for either a man or a woman becomes ‘historic’ if it is done by a woman”

You can quote me on that if you wish.

Oh and I guess after recent experience-we should get the usual disclaimers out the way first. I don't give a rat's ass if your daughter is a Naval Aviator, an engineer, CEO of a  multi-billion dollar firm, or for that matter the first woman to eventually walk on the moon. Nor do I care if your husband is supportive of what you want to do. These are my feelings and thoughts, these are issues that need to be discussed-not swept under the rug, and I'll write about them. If you think that gives you a carte blanche to go after me-I've got a message for you.

So, as is my custom in March- I intend to use this little missive to write about something that got me really peeved the moment I read it and heard it.The source of my anger? This little headline in Navy Times:

Getting Personal: Naval Air Forces plans character-building workshops.

(It appears the article is behind Navy Times firewall so I can't send you a link-but the article is on Page 18 of the April 02, 2012 issue.)

Starting this spring the Navy's  air wings, squadrons, and aircraft carriers will take a moment to stop and delve into some real life, but awkward scenarios in a move the top commander hopes will tamp down personal misconduct and misbehavior.

Naval Air Forces will roll out its new "Character and Integrity" program, developed by a contracted consultant and organized in the "train the trainer" format. Each training workshop will provide group discussions and include a video message from VADM Allen Myers.

" The real intent is to improve decision making skills  and give our people interventional strategies so that we do not adversely impact our readiness as war fighters because of character- related and integrity -related incidents, " said Cmdr Pauline Storum, a Naval Air Forces spokeswoman.. Top leaders "heard….we don't have a tool to help our people make better decisions."

I'll pause while you throw up now.

If that last paragraph, does not make naval veterans angry-very angry, then I think you have not been paying attention recently. Or have just given up, and acknowledged the fact that every thing the nay sayers said back in the bad old days about the great experiment has come true with a vengeance. 

So by implication, the generations of officers that fought the war in Vietnam, lived through 70's, gave rise to the 600 ship Navy and fought Desert Storm and Desert Shield were unprincipled, bastards with "no character?"-No character indeed because after a long at sea period they went ashore and got a little unwrapped, and part of that getting unwrapped might have included a tryst or two with the local female population? Bullshit!

But so many people are getting fired!

Yes they are. But as I pointed out before its as much about today's environment and the lack of consistency in application of standards that contributes to those firings-as well as an interconnected world that intrudes on things that quite simply: are none of Al Myers-or the rest of flag counterparts business.

I'll say it again: "The "moral character" of our force (whatever the hell that means) is just fine. 99% of our Sailors do the right thing-every time, all the time when it comes to the particulars of their profession. For the other 1% there are already sufficient remedies in place-there is absolutely no reason to add to them."    

And of course, later in the article-the familiar old canard of Tailhook gets trotted out. THAT Navy was killed a long time ago-by stupid Politically Correct actions like this one. ( And for what its worth-THAT Navy was a hell of lot more fun than this one.)  And just as full of "character"-where character had a clearly defined professional basis and less of a personal one. of course it was Tailhook that led the Navy down the path that made it think that its leadership had as much of right to tell you how to live your personal life as well your professional one. ( P.S." the true story behind the sensational Tailhook Scandal and how Paula Coughlin was anything but innocent"-but 8 million dollars works wonders.)

What should be an insult to anyone's "integrity" however-is that the Navy has to outsource this training to an outside firm, with several folks who just happen to be "friends of a friend of friend".  That should strike more than just me as odd and particularly insulting-the institution and to our Sailors.

But today's Sailors don't have the time.

Really? They don't have the time to do their central job as officers and chief petty officers? Lead their Sailors?   Yea-I think that would get in the way of all the diversity training that needs to be accomplished.  And it certainly would get in the way of IG's throwing people under the bus. Give me a fucking break. Hey Al-how much did this little ( probably non competitively bid) contract cost the US Navy? How much-probably a fair amount I think.

So what does all this have to do with Women's History month, you ask? Good question-and it really doesn't- save for one major thing. The primary argument against gender integration was the amount of problems it would create by having men and women live together in close quarters in a profession that prizes companionship to a  large degree. Add to that- long series of events that closed the doors on other more discrete and non threatening means of releasing that tension concurrently ensued-and you should not be surprised at the result.  The Star Trek Navy doesn't exist. And it never will. 

There is no moral crisis in the Navy. The average naval officer or Sailor is getting up each morning and going to work on time, pays his bills, takes care of his family, serve his country-and maybe just maybe-desires to have a good time once in a while, while doing so. Its not an unreasonable expectation on his or her part.

I wonder if there will be a module in the course about how its bad to stab your contemporaries in the back. That always denoted a certain lack of integrity-right Al?

Yesterday I wrote:Don't kid yourself, this is just the opening act in a war that is designed to, at one and the same time, pervert the meaning of the First Amendment-and at the same time empower insurance companies to go right back to fucking people over.

And leave it to Darrell Issa to prove me right:

The Republican pols who so gleefully pounced on the contraception mandate issue, thinking it would simultaneously titillate their conservative evangelical voter base and ObamaCare haters everywhere, while serving as a “wedge” with Catholic voters, have been frantic to frame the issue as one of “religious liberty,” not of access to contraceptives or of women’s health care. As you may have heard, this “framing” effort went horribly wrong this morning for House Oversight Committee chairman Rep. Darrell Issa (R-CA) at a hearing on the mandate.

Here’s the background from Igor Volsky:

Ranking committee member Elijah Cummings (D-MD) had asked Issa to include a female witness at the hearing, but the Chairman refused, arguing that “As the hearing is not about reproductive rights and contraception but instead about the Administration’s actions as they relate to freedom of religion and conscience, he believes that Ms. Fluke is not an appropriate witness.”

The proposed witness in question, Georgetown law student Sandra Fluke, is a friend of a fellow-student who lost an ovary after being denied contraceptives prescribed as a medical treatment. She is also obviously connected to one of the “religiously-affiliated institutions” that are at the center of the controversy, even according to the opponents of the mandate.

Issa’s imperious exclusion of Fluke, accompanied by comments that she was not “qualified” to testify, helped dramatize the fact that every single witness he called for the hearing’s first panel was a male religious authority opposing the mandate. The two female Democratic Members of the committee subsequently walked out of the hearing in protest.

.

 

Because while the deranged wing of the GOP is continuing its freak out about a standardized practice-their evil apprentices are on still on the job:

In their latest move in the battle over contraception coverage, top Republicans in Congress are going for broke: They’re now pushing a bill that would allow employers and insurance companies to pick and choose which health benefits to provide based simply on executives’ personal moral beliefs. Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.), the top GOPer in the Senate, has already endorsed the proposal, and it could come to a vote this week. The measure would make the religious exemptions to President Barack Obama’s health care bill so large they’d swallow it whole.

 

“This is about gutting the Affordable Care Act and the protections it was meant to establish,” says Leila Abolfazli, a lawyer focusing at the National Women’s Law Center who focuses on health and reproductive rights.

Obama’s Affordable Care Act requires all health care plans to offer certain services and benefits, including birth control. Last week, Sen. Roy Blunt (R-Mo.) offered a “conscience amendment,” to the law, pitching it as a way to allay religious employers’ qualms about providing birth control to their employees.

But Blunt’s proposal doesn’t just apply to religious employers and birth control. Instead, it would allow any insurer or employer, religiously affiliated or otherwise, to opt out of providing any health care services required by federal law—everything from maternity care to screening for diabetes. Employers wouldn’t have to cite religious reasons for their decision; they could just say the treatment goes against their moral convictions. That exception could include almost anything—an employer could theoretically claim a “moral objection” to the cost of providing a given benefit. The bill would also allow employers to sue if state or federal regulators try to make them comply with the law.

 

Don't think insurance companies won't drive a truck through that loophole. As a commenter noted at John Cole's place: "This is an AMAZINGLY bad idea. It rewards those employers who deny coverage, and sanctions those who don’t.. This is one for the history books in bad ideas, it really is. I think we should all remember that this idea came about because of churches + Republicans, setting public policy."

Not a good mix, apparently.

Commenter Cupajoe wanted a rant against marriage. By amazing coincidence-I'm feeling right down on that subject tonight. Ask,  and ye shall receive:

Lovingly stolen from Expat at Large!

The day we get on the plane and I begin the journey to once again take my rightful place among the ranks of American Expats. I think we are ready-although the S.O. is just two steps above basket case level right about now.

The S.O. does not deal with change well. Unlike me-she likes order and routine, and the humdrum existence of house and hearth allows her to her cleaning, her daily laundry and the rest of her routines. The last few days of packers and movers ( who she regards as lazy compared to their Japanese counterparts-they really were not that bad, it could have been much, much worse) have unsettled her  greatly.  The sight of the empty house, coupled with the idea that those filthy Gaijin will be walking across her well kept floors in shoes, just perturbs her to no end. And this is for a house that she says ( repeatedly) she didn’t like that much ( she liked it more than she cares to admit).

We both have been having ongoing discussions about what put us overweight. She blames my books, I blame her dishes-the truth is both are to blame, which is why she will be splitting the expense with me-although she doesn’t know it yet. We are playing the cards we can to get the weight down ex post facto, but eventually we will get bitten in the ass. She realizes deep down she bought too much “stuff” over here and in Japan.

It sort of came to a head last night,when she threw a T-shirt at me. I realized it was not so much at me for the then topic of discussion-but at my inability to settle and stay where she could enjoy her routines. Like many women, she cares only so much for the happiness of her man. That  is quite secondary, even tertiary,  when it comes to interrupting her routine and her source of life support. Its not unique to her-its a finding I have seen across the species.  It doesn’t matter so much if I am happy in the location or professionally-so long as she is taken care of. She will work through it of course-as soon as we settle on a house, and get unpacked and settled, and she can build new routines. Routines that will have her riding the S-bahn and learning German after a fashion. We apologized to each other this morning at breakfast. (She’s right-I should have been more ruthless with respect to my library, she recognized I am right about her plates and hibachi’s).

But for both of us, tomorrow will be the beginning of a new adventure and a voyage to an uncertain shore. We will keep you advised as it unfolds. Gambarimashou!

More and more men are showing up for body pump class.

I do not consider it a positive development.

After class, when Angie the dominatrix instructor was done showing us how fit she is, and how unfit I am- I went in to the locker room, changed into my swim suit, and meandered to the jacuzzi. It almost felt better than an orgasm to get in that water. Notice I said, almost.

In the jacuzzi pool were four young men ( boys) and a girl. The girl was wearing a bikini and the boys were obviously trying to impress said specimen of woman hood. I being the old man ( at least as far as they were concerned) just crouched in the pool and listened to what they had to say.

The were discussing drinking a mix of Red Bull and something else I did not quite hear. They referred to it as two uppers and one big downer. Now I guess I am showing my age-but I never thought that was the right way to impress chicks. Then again, my conversation with strange women these days mostly consists of: ” I’m American, I’m staying at [fill in the blank] and how long have you been in [also fill in the blank], where in [Costa Rica, Mexico, Dominican Republic, Thailand, Philippines, Vietnam, Indonesia, China] are you from?”

Probably the most interesting thing to me was the vitality and sheer enthusiasm in their faces. Everything was still an adventure out there waiting. Life had yet to beat them down. One of the guys talked about heading down to Auburn this weekend for a “PJ” party. ( PJ for those who don’t know is that magic elixir created with fruit juice and grain alcohol guaranteed to make just about any women who consumes several glasses part with bra and/ or panties). I turned my head away and smiled-somethings don’t really seem to change.

Oh to be their age and know what I know now. The girl soon left the pool and they followed in hot pursuit. She was quite trim and the physical maladies of life were all downstream for her. No post partum fat for a while me thinks.

Sigh………..

Bruce Dern has a message for all you people feeling optimistic tonight:

I remember watching that movie in college-thinking it was funny at the time. Now-it sadly, tends to ring true.

Got here safely after the usual hubub of changing planes at Dulles. Was upgraded to buisness class-was suprised to not see it full. That, Mr. Tilton, is a crime. You should always fill first class and business-then open up some room in Economy. The rest of the trip here was fine.

Actually had to go straight to where I am working from the airport. They had actually sent someone to meet me-and take me there. I did not consider it a good sign of partying opportunities to come.

So where am I ?

Let’s see who can guess-prizes are still to be determined:

-From AD 106-271 this country was part of the Roman Empire. The Romans called the place, Dacia.

-This country has a an “L” shaped mountain range that splits the country into two parts.

-The Eight Air Force did not like a city here during World War II. One of the largest bombing raids of the war occurred on a city in this country.

-The leading cause of death for males 18-40 is traffic accidents.

-Like Korea-this country has its own language. Unlike Korea-this language is spoken by several neighboring countries.

-The women are among the most beautiful, stylish, well dressed, educated, and loving women in the world!

-Dracula has his bank here.

The last clue should be a dead give away. Gotta run-0630 comes early and I have to work to earn my beer!

Happy manufactured holiday!

What we all are really waiting for:

Finally, someone says what I have been thinking ever since I read the news:

Am I the only one who would suggest that maybe David Duchovny and Tiger Woods aren’t the ones with a problem, and perhaps their respective wives are? Could it be that I’m the only person who has noticed the scarcity of single men entering “sex rehab?” The last time I checked, marital status wasn’t considered a symptom of anything other than poor judgement.

Tiger Woods is no more of a sex addict than I am an advocate of celibacy. This is just a way to put the yoke on him and have a reason to blame him-if he responds again to his natural instincts.

America’s treatment industry is built upon the need to control others and what they do with their lives-regardless of whether they show up for work on time or not.  Coercion into treatment-backed up by the threat of ruination -is what keeps the treatment industry alive and thriving. Its a self replicating kind of thing.

Coerced 12 step treatment has been successfully challenged in several court cases-yet companies like Nike still see it as the ultimate hammer to maintain control over their investment.

Tiger Woods is not a sex addict. He is a man-like so many men-who bought into a large set of lies about the so called joys of married life, and when actually having experienced its inevitable let down-sought a means of expressing his own independence.

Tiger me boy-you don’t have to take it lying down.