Jul 04 2013
Or as the German’s refer to it-just another work day.
But for me it was good-slept for about 12 hours recharging my batteries from hard booming work in Bucharest.
Took the S.O. down to France today-and we did some French wine shopping. Came back to a dinner of Chinese food and German beer. What better way to honor America than by celebrating internationally?
I spent a lot of time today remembering one particular 4th of July, one that truly represented a declaration of Independence for me, 4 July 2000. That literally was a time of great independence for me. I had broken free from the chains of bondage to that unique specimen of womanhood, fat shrew Americanus-and while I still had a many months of legal hassles to work through, to be rid of that and be free to savor the life beyond the marital grave was indeed a wonderful thing. No 4th of July in 13 years hence has had the meaning for me that that particular 4th did.
Because it also represented the freedom from bondage from the “program” of a particular quack, who had 6 months earlier tried to use his medical license to justify his “right” to interfere in my private life. I can honestly say-he is the one person, really the one and only person-that I have hated with a passion that remains unquenchable. To this day I still despise him-and the “system” he misrepresented. Maybe eventually my hatred for him will dissipate-in the meantime my remembrance of the words, “ a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such government, and to provide new guards for their future security” has special personal meaning for me. In other words, through my betrayal and misfortune at his worthless mind and hands-I learned anew for myself about my inner strength and MY RIGHT to “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” Perhaps the suffering he inflicted must needs have come-BUT WOE BE UNTO HIM BY WHICH IT CAME. A cheery” fuck you” to him-a worthless excuse for a medical professional. He had no right to interfere in my life then-and he will never have the right or the opportunity again. Neither did his employer-a point he never understood. His job was to dispense medicine-not to make value judgments. If you want to know where my stridency on the rights of the Sailor came from, while it did not begin there-it most certainly reinforced the need to defend them. I was lucky, I had the means and seniority to break free from his chains. I shudder to think of the long train of victims he inflicted damage to-who never got the chance to break free from his malpractice.
God, it felt good and liberating to write that-and I only hope that someday he reads it, or better yet I get the chance to deliver the sentiment to him in person. The 13 years of relative victory-with more than a couple of unplanned detours-represent my personal revolution. My independence day victory.
In the final analysis, its the chains that we let be tied around us, they are the ones that really hold us back. Be them from work, or bad personal choices, or money-or the lack thereof-or just simply allowing people to try to exercise a sway they have no right to exert.
Personal declarations of independence are tough-but once in while you can break the bonds that bind you-and find the courage to step boldly into the unknown.
I hope there is still the strength within me to find it again-and to stay on the path less traveled by-for it has made all the difference. Fuck you KMB!
And Happy 4th of July to the rest of you!