Far East Cynic

Follow the link to view a father’s moving tribute to his son. Father’s Day this weekend. Take time to thank your Dad. I don’t know how my Dad ever put up with me, but he stood beside me through thick and thin. I know my friend did the same for his son…..and more.

Subscribe in a reader

Its starting, albeit slowly, give it a few years to spread to all the services:

Seems like we have been here before……..

Subscribe in a reader

There is a certain logic here:

Then again, who ever heard of a nice looking Democrat woman?

Don’t believe me? Check this out!.

Beautiful to look at that, then they open their mouths and wreck the ambiance.

Skippy-san

Subscribe in a reader

Any one who spent time around Naval Aviation in “the good old days” ( Namely anytime prior to 1991 and the witchhunts and crucifixions that followed…) remembers Grampaw Pettibone. Gramps as he was affectionately known, was the quinticential and timeless caricature of the Naval Aviator. ( And he looked NOTHING like Tom Cruise!) :

Gramps was a column written in the Naval Aviation News. The purpose of it was to promote safety awareness by writing about, and ridiculing, the buffoonry of other’s. (“The kind of comics real naval aviators like!”). There was always truth in what old gramps wrote and it was good reading. His classic line was ” Jumping Jehosaphat! What were those boys thinking? ( Now he has to use the word girls as well…..) ” Its good thing Gramps is not writing about politics or current events these days, he would be screaming those words, and its sure bet no one is listening.

Consider this list of things one can say Jumping Jehosaphat to:

“Michael Jackson says he is not going to allow kids in his bedroom any more“- Duh, you think maybe that’s not a good idea?

“Hillary Clinton planning presidential bid.”- Who gives the Democrats this kind of political advice? Hillary Clinton would be among one of the worst candidates they could run. I really wonder sometimes when the Democrats are going to get it. George Bush may be pendantic and a spendthrift, but he is a smart political animal and so are other folks in the Republican party. For the Democrats to become relevant again, they have to be percieved as being in touch with “real people’s” issues. I believe, that inability to connect with folks played a role in the defeat of John Kerry last year, and it is definately involved in the current attitude of “red state superiority” thinking. “Real people” are not comfortable with homosexuality, and many of the other issues that the Dummycrats sponsor. To win back the White House, John Dean and others have to start making sense about jobs and deficits, not calling the Republicans a “white Christian party” when the demographics do not support that. She can try to pretend she is a moderate all she wants, but “if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck…….”.

Bubblehead has a great post about a really stupid idea. “What the hell were those boys thinking?”……He’s right, ” Whoever came up with this idea should be publicly identified so they can get the mocking and belittling they so richly deserve…”.

Whoever came up with this, obviously did not think the whole thing through:

Its a CHOCOLATE dress! I wonder if I could eat my way to the model’s center?

For once, I actually agree with Michele Macangalang , ( You know her, she’s the C**T); guys like Fred Phelps give Christians a bad name…. How truly low can you go?

Meanwhile in Guam a couple of weeks ago, 6 military folks decided to get together for lunch at a local restaurant. Lunch involved a few beers or drinks and turned into playing pool with more drinks. Four or five hours later they called it a day and in three separate vehicles they went their own way.
The end result? Car #1 got back Ok, but he was the most senior person of the group. Car#2 got nailed at the base gate and the driver was charged with DUI. His BAC? .200. (remember legal limit in Japan is .03, in Guam its .08). As for Car #3, well, while driving back, the driver crossed the center line and struck a vehicle with a woman and two small children in the back. (I’ll pause here before I go on.) …….The mother of the small children did not survive the crash. Now mind you, the driver was not the owner of the car. His BAC? .290. The owner said he’d had too much(his BAC was .200) so his friend said, “Hey, I’m fine, I can drive” and took the keys. 5 of the folks involved are in various stages of being thrown out of the military for being criminally stupid. The sixth, well he is looking for a good attorney and protection to keep from being lynched by the residents of Guam. This is big news over here.

Over in Beijing, a university professor allegedly leaked exam questions and answers to a female applicant of a master’s program after she had sex with him. This woman better have been one outstanding piece of tail, since now the professor is being charged with giving away state secrets.

Finally, back here in Tokyo, 25-year-old Manabu Furuya, finding himself down to his last 10,000 yen (95 dollars) – but at the same time desperate to take his girlfriend to Tokyo Disney Sea – the deranged devotee robbed a pub where he used to work. Fleeing the scene with 150,000 yen in his pocket, he was confronted by pub employee Takahiro Dono. And in a bid to escape, Furuya stabbed him. An attack that sadly proved to be fatal. A tragedy though that failed to get in the way of Furuya and his Disney themed date. The day after the theft and murder, he happily went to Disney Sea as planned.

Jumping Jehosaphat! What were these guys thinking?

Skippy-san

Subscribe in a reader

If you have tuned in looking for an update on the War of the Roses, alas there is no news to report. Today was as if “the conversation” had never occurred. S.O. got up, went to work and was just as sweet as could be tonight. She even made me my favorite summer time meal . All this in spite of the fact that she did not feel well this afternoon. She says she had a headache. I made her go lay down on the couch and convinced her that, yes, I could clean the kitchen myself, just the way she wants. Either the woman has no feelings or she is just as confused as I am. So for now, we just go on; kind of like the US and the Soviet Union during the Cold War. Detente, reinforced by the threat of mutual assured destruction. Not sure if I am supposed to play like Jimmy Carter and give away the Panama Canal, or become Ronald Reagan and demand that she “Tear down this wall”. She sure looked sweet at dinner though…….

Anyway…….

Now that she is sleeping, I’m practicing a time honored male ritual: watching 3 movies at once. Thanks to the miracle of cable TV and a remote control, I am flipping back and forth between Time after Time, Hunt for Red October and Master and Commander. One can only do this with movies one has seen already. You have to know when to cut back and forth between channels. Its male talent, I believe, as a woman would want to look for deeper meaning. I just want something to distract me.

Somehow words coming from these three movies seem appropriate the the current situation though. The brogue of Sean Connery intoning:

“When Cortez reached the new world, he burned his ships. Thus his men were well motivated.”

Or the taunt of the crew speaking , as it were to me and my issues:

“You couldn’t just slip away could you Captain? No , you had to make a political statement. Or was it something deeper?”

Damned if I know. When I figure it out, I’ll let you know.

HG Wells sums me up pretty good too:

“And now we should say our goodbyes. Don’t you see, I don’t belong here! Besides someone has to write all these books whatever they are. [I'm] not ready for time travel{romance}……..”

Lets not forget Russel Crowe’s advice:

“To wives and sweethearts….May they never meet!”

Yea, yea whatever….just don’t throw a telephone at me!

Skippy-san

P.S. If you get a chance check out Sarong Party Girl. Her blog is causing quite a stir in Singapore. Might have something to do with her NAKED PHOTOS! She knows what I’m feeling.

Subscribe in a reader

The S.O. is a smart woman as I have noted before. We had a good round of golf today, She came back from a 7 stroke deficit on me to narrow it down to 3 strokes. She even chipped in for a par on a more difficult hole. It was a great shot. I beat her, but since I fell apart on the last 3 F****ng holes, it was tough.

Then we came home, and I made her a nice dinner. Swiss steak, corn, salad, Pinot wine. Things are going Ok……and then, it happened. Using her female intuition, she shifted the conversation to the “unspoken thing” that lies between us like a rock in the sea: I hate our little domestic life. And for the last few months or so, being chained down has felt like a millstone wrapped around my neck, dragging my mind and spirit down. She asked me why I have been unhappy.

Now at this point, I need to come to the S.O.’s defense, she is a very smart woman and there’s no real conflict between us. Its not like we have had any huge arguments. Sure, I’ve come home late on occasion and I don’t pay the same attention to house work that she does, but that’s who I am and she knows it. I cook for her and make sure she gets to work, and come home early to make sure dinner’s ready for her when she works, so I feel like I do my part. Still, she could see my slowly increasing frustration.

Now the proper male response would have been to deny everything and move the conversation along. And had I not had 2 beers and a couple of glasses of Pinot, maybe I would have taken the coward’s way out. However, tonight I said to hell with it, might as well let her see my frustration and tell her the truth. So we jumped into the deep end of the pool, and had a “serious conversation”. I won’t bore you with details, except it comes down to this: I’m not ready to tie my self down to just one woman, and I jumped back into a serious dating/ living together relationship too soon. I like women too much to be attached to only one.

Since I was married at 22 fresh out of college, I never had a chance to get out and do the “hair on fire” single life I deserved as a young man. The S.O. did, as she has never been married before. She had a nice content little single life that I still envy. She saved money, did what she wanted, and according to her was “quite the party girl”.

Problem is, she’s not a party girl anymore. And I am still very much the party boy. And I’m not planning on changing that anytime soon. If I have my way, I’ll be the party old man, chasing women at the VFW in my 70′s. I feel like she used false advertising on me. She said she was a party girl when we met….really she is a woman who was single for a long time, who is ready to settle down and thought I could give her that.

I met the S.O. at an amazing time in my life. I had been in Japan for about a year still working through the financial hell that is divorce in the US. Literally, it was raining women. I was going out from time to time with a Thai lady who worked as a make-up person( who had a boyfriend I found out later), I had been to Kyushsu to meet (and sleep with) a Chinese girl I met through the internet, and I had a couple of girls on the string here in Tokyo. However the S.O. really caught my interest. She was smart, had a good paying job, had her just bought her own apartment and was quite beautiful. Originally I thought this would be a good addition to the trophy case. However the more we went out, the more I found myself liking her. Things led to another, her heartless American company laid her off, and together we marched into domestic oblivion. That I now believe was a big mistake.

Maybe.

Problem is, I still had not sorted through all of this in my own mind, and I have learned its never good to set your house on fire without having a well thought out escape plan and fire exit in sight. And those details are not worked out yet. Plus, truth be told, I still like her, a lot. She’s a nice woman, if slightly obsessive about cleaning. However my ex went from being pretty to a fat trashy, spendthrift, American housewife who hated housework, so in that regard its a great change of pace. The S.O. looks like a saint compared to her. For some unknown reason though, I find myself wanting to live in Hong Kong or Singapore and have the love life problems that Spike has. Problem is, it takes money to do that.

Nothing was resolved in the “conversation”. However the issue is out there. I went to the movies just to get away and think for a while, but that did no good. All it did was make me want to go to a bar and get drunk. ( Which I did not do, work still always comes first, and I have to get up early tomorrow. )

This saga is going to drag on for a while till its eventual demise. I’ll provide you with plot updates as the drama plays out. Should be interesting, emotionally painful, and I suspect, expensive. Disengaging from relationships with women always is.

This sucks……Oh, and for the female viewers out there who want to pull an Oprah on me and tell me what an asshole I’m being. Well, let me save you the trouble, I know it. However this all about me. I want what I want, and I’m no longer going to apologize for that. I did too much of that in my past life.

Skippy-san

Subscribe in a reader

He tasks me. The bubbleheads, they haunt me and task me with more thinking than I am capable of. The Geezer demands answers, yesterday (actually day before yesterday). Yep, you guessed it, I’ve been hit with another meme.

The subject today is books. Its a great one for me because I have books everywhere, in my apartment, in storage, even at my son’s place. So lets talk about those books:

(1) Number of books I own: I don’t know for sure, but split between all three of the above locations somewhere between 750-800.

(2) Last book bought: The World Is Flat: A Brief History of the Twenty-first Century by Thomas L. Friedman. (Just started it. )

(3) Last book I read: ?????????????????????????Excitement at midnight-Blue train). A Japanese manga book. Do comic books count?

(4) Five books that mean a lot to me: This is downright hard. There are lots of books I like. Narrowing it down to five just does not do the other ones justice. Here goes however:

(a) Winds of War and War and Remembrance by Herman Wouk. Yea its two books, but really only one story, you can’t read the latter with out having read the former, despite what Mr Wouks says in the preamble. Its one of my absolute favorite books and I’ve read it probably 30 times in the last 25 years.

(b) The Fifties-by David Halberstam. One of the best histories of the period I think I have read.

(c) A Good Walk Spoiled : Days and Nights on the PGA Tour- Golf book by John Feinstein. Since I am a lousy golfer who fantasizes about being on the tour and getting PAID to play golf, its a must read.

(d) An Introduction to Shakespeare- Edited by Hardin Craig and David Bevington. My college English text for second semester. Still on my shelf and I read it from time to time when I feel in the mood to read Shakespeare, something that , sadly, fewer and fewer young people are doing these days. All the biggies are there: Hamlet, Romeo and Juliet, Richard the II, King Lear, Twelfth Night. Sadly it does not have Macbeth or the Merchant of Venice, two other Shakespeare plays I love.

(e) What If? – Edited by Robert Cowley. An anthology of alternate history essays by a bunch of historians including Caleb Carr, Stephen Ambrose, John Keegan and others…..

There are a whole bunch I could have put on there. As you can see I tend to read mostly non fiction however any of Hemingway’s books deserves honorable mention. Plus books I read as teenager and have since forgotten, like Cry the Beloved Country or Flowers for Algernon.

And now to give the gift that keeps on giving: I tag Expat at Large, Yankee Sailor, with total respect, The Bookworm.

Whew!

Skippy-san

Subscribe in a reader

In a world of over 6.5 billion people it always amazes me when unrelated people’s lives interact. Such was the case between me and Mark over at Gardner in Korea when because of work and blogs our lives actually touched one another. I just wish I could have met him and bought him a beer!

Seems Mark was going to Iwo Jima as a part of a USFK sponsored field trip. USFK, being the incredibly cheap bastards that they are, had requested airlift to Iwo from the Navy. The office I work for is involved in scheduling Navy airlift. Fortunately for a bunch of Army yahoo’s, they were not too busy that day and could accommodate their request. The details of Mark’s visit can be found here. We made that happen!!! One of the dirty little secrets about the Air Force is that they charge everyone they move by airplane for the privilege of moving them. Thus people are always trying to find a (legal) way to avoid paying and screw the Air Force out of their money. Fortunately for him, the boys and girls of the Naval Reserve Force, were there to save their collective asses.

Second example of the interconnected world. Phil, down in Singapore at Expat at Large, was out shopping for books the other day at Kinokuniya in Singapore. Admiring a very attractive derriere which happens to belong to Sarong Party Girl as it turns out. Lucky guy. Based on the pictures on her site, I’ll bet that was a pleasant afternoon!

Four people, four different lives, unconnected in anyway, except for a desire to share their ideas, complaints, observations and frustrations with the world via the internet. Bloggerville has a lot of streets, so I am amazed that they crossed.

Speaking of attractive derriere’s and getting connected, check this out. Its Yukari Kuzuya, Japan’s entry into the Miss Universe pageant:

I must be slipping up. I totally missed the pageant, did not even realize it was in Bangkok this year.

Guess I need a beer…..

Subscribe in a reader

It was a great night last night. Japan beat North Korea 2-0 in a world cup qualifier. The last goal was particularly satisfying as the Japanese player went mano y mano with the goalie, faked him out and gently kicked the ball into the goal. I’m sure the North Korean guy saw visions of a labor camp in his future.

The game was played in front of a capacity crowd of…..no one. That’s right, they played in Thailand in front of empty stands with just cameramen, coaches and reporters present. The fans had to watch elsewhere on wide screen TV’s. This was due to the riots that occurred in North Korea after they played Iran.

I watched the match. It was really no match at all, Japan was light years ahead of North Korea. I think the North Koreans knew it too, since with 20 seconds to go, they started a fight. It was all over the front page of the Asahi Shimbun this morning.

Since South Korea beat Kuwait the same evening, I’d say all the right folks won. On to Germany!

Skippy-san

Subscribe in a reader

It seems like all I am writing about this week is death. As I reported to you earlier, a friend of mine lost his son last Saturday. A vibrant and smart young man, who was taken away long before his time. Cruel and unfair from my standpoint, I can only hope that somewhere God had good reasons for this unfair thing. Several folks who knew the young man attended his memorial service. One sent me an account of it today ( I have left all the names out due to concerns about privacy and the internet):

It was the most wonderful event. I cried, I laughed, I cried, and I laughed again. The spirit of the service was the same spirit that young Dxxx lived his life, it was full of humor, warm friendship, and wisdom. He touched many lives, the service was overflowing with fellow students, teachers, nurses, doctors, and Navy Family from all over, including many who were stationed in Japan with the XXXX’s

In the end, young Dxxx passed before many of us could say our goodbyes

The e-mail closes with a poem written by the boy sometime this year. I cried myself when I read it:

Tomorrow
byJune 4, 1990-June 4, 2005

Subscribe in a reader

Anne Bancroft is dead. Wow. Most remembered for her role in The Graduate, people tend to forget that she had a varied and quite successful career both on screen and on stage. She was in the Miracle Worker in 1962 . She gave a monumental performance that won her an Academy Award. From a review of the movie:

As Annie Sullivan and Helen Keller, Anne Bancroft and Patty Duke could not have been better. The battle of wills and wits between the two is engrossing, becoming quite involved and very interesting. The lengthy dining room struggle alone would make any movie worth watching – it is worthwhile even beyond the interesting action itself, as it brings out aspects of human nature and human learning that go beyond even Helen’s own trials.

As for The Graduate, people today tend to forget what a big deal it was to go see that movie in 1967. Tame by todays standards, it was risque for that time. I remember my parents making a HUGE deal out of hiding it from us kids that they were going into town to see the movie. They did not want us kids to know that they were going to see a “dirty” movie. I still think it is a great movie and from the standpoint of hindsight, I think the story is great. If you got the same offer as young Benjamin, you’d probably take Mrs Robinson on her offer too.

Anyway, now I really feel old. She was a great actress and may God give her rest and peace.

Subscribe in a reader

He’s back! Phil over at Expat at Large has finally found his way home. He’s been MIA since the middle of May when he went to Sydney. Ordinary Gweilo and Mia and others have been wondering what happened to him. I figured he had gotten way laid ( emphasis on the laid part) in Sydney. Would have been damned indecent for him not to blog about it. Anyway, since he has a new ISP, head on over there and pay him a visit.

Welcome home to Bloggerville…Phil.

Subscribe in a reader

Was watching NHK at lunch time today. Due to some appointments was unable to watch ?????? so I missed getting a look at Vanilla Mood. Instead got to watch the Japanese Diet in Session. They, like the British House of Commons, have a question period where Diet members can question the Prime Minister. ( Although they don’t seem to shout as much as British MP’s do…..). It was interesting especially to see many of the Diet members in shirt sleeves, no coat, no tie.

As has been reported by Japundit, Tokyo Times, and Japan Today , the government is encouraging offices to dispense with coat and ties, and keep their thermostats slightly higher.
Koizumi wants thermostats set no lower than 28 degrees Celsius, a number that sounds warmer when converted to 82 degrees Fahrenheit. The Prime Minister is doing his best to set the example:

Watching the proceedings however it is clear that some members are struggling with what, exactly , “business casual” means. For example Koizumi was in a white button down shirt with no jacket, several other members had jackets but no ties, and some die hard traditionalists had the ‘uniform’ on, black suit with a tie.

Now I have never understood in this age of so called ‘enlightenment’, why coats and ties have persisted as proper business attire for men. Especially, when women’s fashions are emphasizing comfort over style these days. However in Japan, it is expected to wear a dark suit and a tie ( but not a black tie, those are for funerals; white ties are for weddings). This in spite of the fact that Tokyo summers are brutal. Once we come out of the rainy season at the end of the month, 90 degree days will be the norm. The humidity will match that.

Japan, because it imports all its oil and because of restrictions under the Kyoto protocol is trying to cut its energy usage. The cool biz campaign is one part of this effort. I for one hope this becomes a fashion trend world wide.

However if Japan really wanted to save energy, there are some more practical things they need to look at:

1) The sun comes up here at 4:30 am. Why the hell don’t they have daylight savings time here? The S.O. says it is because of the train system. ( I explained to her that since train timetables are built around the minute, that could not be the case, the 4:30 train would run at 5:30 on daylight savings time, besides the train does not know the difference provided the minutes are the same.) A better explanation is one offered by a Japan Today reader, ” The electric companies did not want to lose profits”. Either way having less lighting on in the evening would save this country more money than simple shirt sleeves would.

2) Maybe a little less use of neon lights? After all how many signs for a Pachinko parlor does one business really need?

And of course, while they are at it, maybe Japanese women should do their part to reduce energy as well. Here’s my suggestion for women’s “Cool Biz” attire:

Ja ne,

Skippy-san

Subscribe in a reader

After that last, rambling, wreck of a post, I had thought about posting something funny today. Then I got to work and opened up my e-mail: the son of a friend of mine passed away on Saturday.

I am stunned beyond words. You had to know these folks and to have met the boy to really appreciate what a tragedy this is. My friend had been living here in Japan, then when his son was diagnosed with cancer ( at 13! How unfair is that?), he had moved the family back to the states to get the best medical care possible.

Last I had heard, was that the son was on the mend and things were looking up. Then he got pneumonia. Suddenly….just like that, he was gone.

The whole thing is so damned unfair.

So out of respect for my friend …I’ll hold my peace. Remember his son in your thoughts and prayers, if you are so inclined.

Skippy-san

Subscribe in a reader

Warning notice! Views expressed in this article are probably going to offend some members of the military, some Filipino’s and just about every US Government civilian employee employed overseas. However it’s an issue worth discussing and I have put a lot of thought into it, so consider yourself forewarned! (Long post follows).

Mark, over at Gardner in Korea, posted a line a few days back that got me to do some heavy thinking. ( I know, that’s unusual in itself.). Frustrated with dealing with the exchange, “ [it’s] just more evidence of shady dealing over here. I can hardly wait until we cut sling load on this freeloading, USFK welfare-addicted state.”

Now ordinarily one could just dismiss this, as a Soldier complaining, so that means he must be happy right? Actually, I think he has hit on a very pertinent theme that is applicable at any large US military base overseas. Namely that, without meaning to, the military has created a welfare state and a dictatorship at the same time.

I can see yourself scratching your head and asking, “Skippy, what the hell are you talking about? Serving overseas is a hardship and our Soldiers, Sailors, Airman and Marines (I hate the term ‘men and women of our armed forces’) deserve the very best we can give them”. Well yes, but its also quite clear that the authors of the current system did not very well consider the law of unintended consequences

I am not real sure how things work over in Korea, but I am real familiar with how things work over here in Japan. For a service member or a civilian government employee living on base, life at a military base in Japan is a great deal. From both a quality of life standpoint and from a compensation point of view, the average person living overseas at a military base can live about 1 to 2 pay grades over what his compatriot in the US can live at.

Now I need to be upfront here. I am not in anyway trying to belittle the hard work done by our men and women serving overseas in our armed forces. (See I can use the term!) . And certainly in many locations our service personnel are living in less than optimum conditions and dealing with a whole host of deprivations. Also, in both my previous life and my current one, I benefit from the items I am about to discuss and sure as hell don’t want to change any item of my current existence. However one does have to wonder some times about the way some folks over here use and abuse the system.

For an active duty service member and/or a civilian government employee serving on a military base and living in government housing, being stationed overseas is just about one of the best deals going. And our folks being Americans and being smart, have come to recognize that and have made the best of it they can. Some times they simply go too far. Thus the welfare state mentality develops.

And fundamentally, provided no rules are being broken there is nothing wrong with that. However the senior leadership , in turn , has no right to be surprised when people do not act in the way that they had hoped, and do not seek the planned path of service that powers that be have dictated for them. Its here where the problems begin and it all has to do with money and privileges.

Now I also need to caveat what follows. The majority of personnel do play by the rules. However there is a minority and sadly, some of them are of Filipino extraction and some are of other ancestry, that have come to perceive that Uncle Sam has a duty and obligation to take care of them in every way. This is going to take a little while to explain, but ask Mark or CDR Salamander and I’ll bet they second my opinion.

Specifically, personnel stationed over here in Japan are paid a generous cost of living allowance. (COLA). That COLA is designed to make up the difference between the cost of items in the US and the cost of items out in the Japanese economy. And that difference in cost can be significant. Gasoline costs $3.40 per gallon over here; a case of beer any where from between $25 to 40 dollars and admission to a movie is 18 dollars. A train ticket to Tokyo costs $6.00 one way. Hell, a cup of coffee in Starbucks costs $3.20 for a small. However what that ignores is that a significant portion of the military population lives on base and has alternatives available to them that are not available to your average Japanese citizen. We can shop at the commissary, paying comparable prices to the US, Gas is only $2.09 a gallon, and movies and recreational activities are reduced in cost. ($3.00 for a ticket and $18.00 for a round of golf. That is why I can play golf as much as I do.)

Here is where the law of unintended consequences kicks in. One of the most frustrating things that I have seen, both in my active service and after, is that fact that a lot of folks don’t go outside the gates of the bases except on infrequent occasions. Its a shame because there is so much to see in this great country and the train system is excellent. However because the bases have been here for a while and the quality of the services provided therein is improving with every year, many people simply bankroll their COLA and save it up for a rainy day, furniture, or to send home to take care of mom and dad. They become isolated in a government created little world.

Housing is the key here. Japanese housing, while making great improvements, will never be as big as an American on base apartment or house. The situation is made worse, because instead of maximizing the number of units that can be made available by building apartments and duplexes and double houses, they try to recreate America by putting in yards and other nonsense. So they waste valuable real estate that could be put to better use. No matter what though, a house on base beats one off base for one simply reason: free utilities and insulation. Spend a winter in Tokyo sleeping on a futon and you will know what I mean.

Once the housing is secured, other insidious pieces of the welfare state kick in. Recognizing the availability of dependency under US tax law, some less than honest folks have gotten their mothers and/fathers sponsored as dependents. Dependents that are able to get visas to enter the country and live with the service member. It must be a problem because the folks in the military medical community have sure expended a lot of effort complaining about it. And it’s created an underclass that exists on bases, folks bagging groceries, working at the movie theater, and other places doing low wage jobs, but still enjoying the privileges of living on the base.

When the powers that be try to crack down on this, a great hue and cry ensues. There is a huge cultural difference between other Asian cultures where the more well off children are supposed to take care of the parents, and US culture where we Americans take care of ourselves. My roommate from college is married to a Filipina and it drives him crazy. One night over a few beers, he reminded me that when you marry a Filipina, you just don’t marry the girl, you marry the entire family. Now again, there is more than one side to this story and it would be very unfair to state that this is the universal state of affairs because many folks simply live their lives quietly without these issues. However, there are enough who do for this to be an issue.

Also, near and dear to my heart, these fixed based have a large support infrastructure requiring a large civilian work force to support. Here in Japan this work force is split between Japanese workers and Government employees (GS). GS workers too, enjoy the commissary, gas station, mini mart, food court and exchange, AND the Golf course. (I am amazed at how many civilian compatriots live here in Japan and compete with me for a tee time each Saturday). Not all of these folks get COLA however, but they find other ways to get by (teaching English is one). Many, like me are prior military and get retirement (at least what the ex did not steal). And if Donald Rumsfeld gets his way, our numbers will grow.

Now let’s add in the other items of a welfare state/dictatorship. There is government sanctioned gambling (every club has a slot machine place), a government television network (thanks to cable and satellite TV it’s not as pervasive as it once was. Still it runs propaganda ads extolling the evils of the gambling it allows and the virtues of women in the military though…..). A large police force, government run schools, an unelected government ( and just like in the US, increasingly decisions that affect quality of life are being made by lunkheads who do not live here, but are part of a large bureaucracy known as CNI…).

Well I think by now you can see where I am going here. This issue is a little more complicated and it is not easily explained. However anyone in the military who has spent some time overseas can understand what I am saying. Bases that were originally intended to be temporary or for set time duration have expanded and become permanent fixtures. And with it has come the same set of problems that happen, anywhere the government tries to run a significant portion of the economy.

“Ok smart ass”, you may ask, “how would you fix this?” The answer is, I would not. At least not in the way of making major changes. I would, if I were the king, make some minor changes and ask folks to stop blaming the service member for the outcome of doing things the system allows them to do.

Incentivize expected behavior. If you want people to rotate every five years of so, limit the number of years that can be spent in government housing. Make promotion boards reward personnel who do move around.

Specifically, the United States should take a hard look at whether some of the current fixed and forward deployed basing arrangements would be better served with a rotational force concept from the US. I’ll give you an example. The US keeps an aircraft carrier over here with its crew home ported here in Japan. Why could you not have a “blue” and a “gold” crew that swapped back and forth, just like the SSBN submarines do? That would reduce the population competing for housing by some 3000 personnel at least. Yes it would mean you could not cut the other 3000 personnel manning the “gold crew” but at least all 6000 personnel would be in the United States for PCS purposes. That would probably have the extra bonus of reducing the number of civilians required to support them.

BAN secondary dependents! If someone files for a secondary dependent, they should be sent home as soon as is feasible. At minimum the person should not be granted sponsorship to live overseas with the service member. If the service member gets the tax break fine, but if they need to live with mom and dad then it should happen in the US.

Either build enough housing for the population, or make greater use of services out in town. The second solution is the better one in terms of flexibility and ability to grow or shrink the force. Spend more bucks on COLA and transportation allowances (e.g. encouraging people to use the trains over here, something too many Americans do not do….) and let the Japanese economy provide services such as food stores, et al.

The previous solution flies in the face of one of the dirty little secrets of bases in Japan however. Much of the base construction, as well as the salaries for the Japanese employees, are funded by the government of Japan. This construction money is known as JFIP and it is the crack cocaine of base construction. Essentally its a jobs program for the Japanese government, however it gives them a say in what is built and where. And like Hal Holbrook said in Wall Street, ” easy money makes you do things you don’t want ( or need) to do.”

Stop allowing military personnel in CONUS, to fail overseas screening. If they fail, then they have to get screenable quickly or its time for them to move on. If momma can’t go overseas, well then the service member has to be worked to an unaccompanied tour to fulfill his or her overseas obligation. If consecutive overseas tours are bad, (and I don’t think they are) which is what the idiots at the region say…. then consecutive tours anywhere are bad. Limit naval personnel to no more than 3 consecutive tours in any location INCLUDING San Diego and Norfolk. Make it clear that everybody is expected to put in time overseas. (The Navy says that now, but does not really mean it). They need to get back to the practice of orders being orders. Put ownership of that assignment process with Bureau of Naval Personnel and take away the review authority of the regional commander and the fleet commander.

Finally, don’t take away any of the current pay incentives, however those overseas could stand to be a lot more grateful for them. We should get down nightly and say a prayer for the boys and girls in Iraq and Afghanistan who have bought the shit end of the Global War on Terror, and realize how lucky we are to be overseas someplace else. In the end Sailor or Civilian, our job is about supporting them because right now, that’s where the war is.

I do realize that there are a lot of holes here in my methodology and I hope a lot of people comment and poke those holes in my logic. However amid the miscues, a gem of truth remains.

Skippy-san

Subscribe in a reader