Far East Cynic

I can’t believe I’m doing it! Its like a moth drawn to the flame, in the end you fly too close and you get burned. Yes, you guessed it, I’m looking at Michelle Malkin’s blog again. Why, I am not really sure. After all, politically she is to the right of Atilla the Hun, she uses no critical analysis, and she simply parrots the Fox News line. She is good looking though, but like most of my romances this one is doomed from the start.

Today though, I’m not really out to write about Malkin’s peculiar politics….I’ll save that for a another day when I’m more up to it. However after posting about her the other day, I went back and looked at the responses to her article on the Republican authored Schiavo memo.

As you might guess she got a flurry of comments on other blogs:

“Michelle Malkin is a c**t.
Posted by: hostile on April 7, 2005 at 11:17 AM PERMALINK”

There is about six more posts just like that till one wag points out:

“Check your talking points, dude. The Official Left-wing Anti-Malkin punch-word is “whore.”Posted by: Once a dem on April 7, 2005 at 11:21 AM PERMALINK”

Either way its harsh and not the right way to bring someone like Malkin down to size. As another commenter points out:

“Nice hostile – thanks for elevating the discussion. I prefer to think of Malkin more accurately as profoundly disturbed. And incapable of rational thought. Oh, and racist, oddly enough, even against he own race, which takes a particularly sad strain of self hatred, I guess. Let’s be precise in our criticism, shall we?”

Now that’s more reasoned and more polite.

Ever notice however, when women argue they have a certain code words they use? They will call another woman “stuck up” , or “immature” to start with. Then if the argument continues they may call another woman a “bitch” or even a “tramp”. As in, ” She is such a tramp” ( Really? Can I have her phone number?).

They may even use the S word……”She’s such a slut”. “You dress like a slut”.

In certain uses, the term slut or whore can even be complimentary. I’m not sure how, but I’ve seen women do it. ” I’m going to surprise my boyfriend tonight…..and act like a whore.” ( And if he does not like it, call me eh?).

But you NEVER, EVER, will hear the C word unless a woman really wants to slam another woman. Even men don’t use that term (much…). Its a totally derogatory term. Its the WMD of slang words. Especially if a woman uses it.

If you call a woman a “c**t” stand by for incoming rounds. Trust me I know, I was married to one once.

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There has been a lot of attention paid to the groping of women on Japanese trains lately. Personally I think is a little bit of overkill. If anyone has ever ridden the Tokkaido line at ten o clock on a Wednesday night, you know you are going to be smashed into the car with about 150 of your closest drunken Japanese friends. If you are lucky you get smashed in between 3 pretty ladies with nice perfume. My usual experience is quite the opposite, usually 3 or 4 guys reeking of stale beer. Either way though I keep my hands held high on the strap and keep both hands up so they can be seen plainly. As a Gaijin, I know I’ll get the blame if a “hentai” (pervert) incident occurs. I’ve only seen one in 5 years here. And the cops came on at the next station and dragged the guy off the train. Imagine trying to explain that to your company the next morning. Or maybe your wife…..

Nonetheless it gets a lot of media play. The number normally cited is 2,201 groping cases in 2004, which is up over 100% from 1996 when the last statistics were published. Now in a train system that moves 7, 000,000 people a day, statistically speaking that’s still pretty good. However if you are a school girl in uniform on her way home, one probably has a very different opinion. So I keep my hands held high and in plain sight.

Women only cars:

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Got this off of Hackworth’s web site. Now before some of your hard line military conservatives blast me, lets not forget that he does bring up issues worthy of discussion even though his opinion is not always right. This series of new Marine Corps posters, I think will not make anyone mad, as they support the working Marine and tell the truth. No matter what your politics, SUPPORT THE TROOPS! They are GREAT AMERICANS EACH AND EVERY ONE!:

God Bless the United States Armed Forces!

Skippy-san

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Well, by all accounts I missed a pretty exciting Master’s Final. Some friends called me and told me to turn it on, I just rolled over and went back to sleep. ( It’s on early Monday morning here in Tokyo….). Later they told me about it. Shades of the old Tiger! ( Before he met the Swedish model).

“A spectacular finish of birdies and bogeys finally ended when Woods produced the most important shot of all — a 15-foot birdie putt on the first extra hole to capture his fourth green jacket and finally put away the gritty Chris DiMarco.”
The birdie putt on the playoff hole was evidently something to behold.

Tiger walking away to be fitted for a 4th green jacket.

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Friend of mine sent me this. Old Dr Freud may have been right about the true desires of the subconscious coming out.

“TAVARES, FL — (MARKET WIRE) — 01/04/05 — “The Stupidest Statements Awards” of 2004, bestowed on famous people for their misjudgments and misstatements, have just been announced by Mega Genius(r), “the man with the perfect IQ” (TM) (real name Jim Diamond). His annual prizes of recognition for what he calls “crash-and-burn lapses in intelligence” by well-known personalities are just for fun. Beginning with what he calls the stupidest statement of the year, each award is followed by a quip from Mega Genius.( The other name Skippy-san would like to use…….).

1. George W. Bush, U.S. President, for his declaration at the signing of the $417 billion defense-spending bill: “Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.” August 5, 2004. (Mega Genius: “Just as I suspected.”)

2. Jessica Simpson, singer and reality-TV star, for the compliment she gave Gale Norton, Secretary of the Interior, while touring the presidential mansion: “You’ve done a nice job decorating the White House.” March 14, 2004. (Mega Genius: “From the same woman who thought that buffaloes had wings.”)

3. Paul Hornung, 1956 Heisman Trophy winner and (Caucasian) commentator on Notre Dame football broadcasts, for his reason that the university must “ease it up a little bit” on its academic restrictions: “We can’t stay as strict as we are as far as the academic structure is concerned because we’ve gotta get the black athlete.” March 30, 2004. (Mega Genius: “I think his alma mater already eased up a bit too much.”)

4. George W. Bush, U.S. President, for his warning to an audience in Poplar Bluffs, Missouri, about the effects of frivolous lawsuits on health care: “Too many good docs are getting out of business. Too many OB-GYNs aren’t able to practice their love with women all across this country.” September 6, 2004. (Mega Genius: “I think I just had a light stroke.”) (Skippy -san comment: “Notice how GW is the person who makes it twice?”)

Man! I just can’t get a break here!

5. Latrell Sprewell, Minnesota Timberwolves’ NBA player, who, despite making more than $14 million per year, suggested that he would not go all out to help his team win a championship, for his reason for turning down a three-year extension for $21 million: “I got to feed my family.” October 31, 2004. (Mega Genius: “We’d like five Begula caviar shakes with black-truffle, organic, fingerling fries, please.”) (Skippy-san:” I’d sure like to tray to make ends meet on 7 mil a year……..)

6. Jimmy Swaggart, evangelist, for his Biblical guidance in a televised sermon: “I’ve never seen a man in my life I wanted to marry. And I’m gonna be blunt and plain; if one ever looks at me like that, I’m gonna kill him and tell God he died.” September 12, 2004. (Mega Genius: “I’m building another ark.”)

7. Charles Barkley, former NBA player, for his explanation of why players charged into the stands and brawled with fans during a Pistons-Pacers game, which resulted in the NBA issuing the harshest suspensions in the Association’s history: “Anytime a fan touches you, you have the right to beat the hell out of him.” November 22, 2004. (Mega Genius: “Seven hundred thousand U.S. attorneys just groaned in unison.”)

Come on buddy! Just bring it on!

8. Col Allan, Editor-in-Chief of the New York Post, for the newspaper’s front-page headline: “KERRY’S CHOICE Dem picks Gephardt as VP candidate.” July 6, 2004. (Mega Genius: “Okay, so we were flat-out-wrong… but, by golly, we were first.”)

“You just blew your chance to cover the world”.

“Well I don’t live in the world, I live in fucking New York City”
from the movie, “The Paper”.

9. Terry McAuliffe, Chairman of the Democratic National Committee, for his premature proclamation on the evening of the general election, just before 8 p.m. EST: “This is the best election night in history.” November 2, 2004. (Mega Genius: “He exclaimed to the disappearing Cheshire cat.”)

10. Ashlee Simpson, pop star, for her explanation of being busted when a backup voice track was miscued during her “Saturday Night Live” performance revealing that she was lip-synching, due to what she alleged later was acid reflux: “I feel so bad. My band started playing the wrong song. I didn’t know what to do, so I thought I’d do a hoedown.” October 23, 2004. (Mega Genius: “Sister of Jessica… daughter of Marge and Homer?”)

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Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

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Well, I did it again. Saddled up the backpack, with my cameras, a bottle of water, a couple of magazines for the train and headed down to the East Imperial Park in Tokyo adjacent to Takebashi (???? station on the Tozai line. There a joined a few thousand others and walked around the park. Its a great place to do Hanami (??? also known as sitting on the grass, drinking beer and enjoying the brief beauty that is Cherry Blossom season here.

Leaving via Otemon Gate

The area around the palace is beautiful any time you go, but particularly this time of year:

Cherry trees near the Palace

It is also a great place to watch people While sitting and sipping a cold Asahi I did come up with a few random observations on life and my favorite subject women!

First, on the way out of the park heading for Otemachi, I saw my dream combination. Western guy, driving a BMW convertible , HOT looking Japanese babe in the passenger seat ( remember its backwards over here…she is the left seat!). Sign me up for that! I knew instinctively that, there has to be a story here. Suspect it involves money, sexual favors, and a lot of Louis Vuitton purses and jewelry changing hands.

So inspired by my dream, I waltz on over to the Mototmachi Building, as the basement shopping mall there is a good way to while away the time. Make the circuit of the shops including the Chinese Delicatessen ( Its a front for the expensive Chinese restaurant on the 36th floor Foo Luck Lamm or something like that….). Sigh, no free Shumai samples today!

OK enough is enough, I’m starving! So I wander through the connecting tunnel into Tokyo Station ( ???? hop on the Tokaido line and engage in another of my favorite sports: watching the girls on the train and figuring out which one I would really like to sleep with. Expat at Large’s recent postings on the Ladder Theory provided an interesting backdrop to my mental imagining, plus it keeps me awake and from missing Yokohama station where I need to get off.
In reality there is not a one, I’m sure….but its great fun, especially the Goth wannabe who got on in her black Pippi Longstocking dress with striped socks that went all the way up…..
( I am short of breath just thinking about it while I type this!)

Speaking of Expat at Large, he tipped me off to an interesting dialogue on AsiaXPAT where some bonehead man ( “Guards…Off with his head(s)!”) posts to the women’s column that all Western men in Asia want to boink anything that moves. Maybe that’s true ( about 90% true in my case..) , he’s an idiot for posting it. Its kicked off a firestorm of disapproving replies from resentful Ang Moh, Gweilo and Gaijin shrews. Moron.

“The one” gets off at Kawasaki, leaving me alone and still crammed into a seat. At last, I hear the welcome words that Yokohama is shortly arriving ( e.g. we are arriving for you grammar nuts…the Japanese grammar literally translates the first way.) Time to get off and fight the crowds and my increasingly growling stomach.

I know where I am going to go to dinner as its were I am supposed to meet Harumi, but first decide to go window shopping at Takashimaya. That gives me the opportunity to practice one of my favorite spectator sports, watching women shop for shoes.

This is a combination of girl watching, maintaining a safe distance, and not being observed while doing it. The best place to do this sport is the first floor of the Keio department store in Shinjuku. There, the women are brutal. They look for shoes in a way that would do Imelda Marcos proud. I’m serious, these women move about picking up the shoes, looking, slipping them on and then pushing each other out of the way to get to the sale table. The young ones are by the HIGH ( and I mean High heels) heel shoes (Also known as F*%K me pumps“) The older ladies are fighting over the “sensible shoes”. You see a lot of well dressed tuna when in Takashimaya and that’s ok with me.

Alas the time comes and I cannot put off meeting the S.O. ( significant other…….e.g. that which both excites and torments me……). So off I head to Ootoya which as least has the benefits of being both cheap and tasty. More on that some other time.

So many women….not enough time!

Skippy-san

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As I mentioned before its Cherry Blossom season here in Tokyo. Out here in Ayase City at the American Navy base our some beautiful sights to behold. We went for a walk this after noon and here are a few of the things we saw:

An A-4 backed by beautiful trees.

One thing every one loves in Japan is the ponds filled with Carp fish (???

Harumi by the KOI ( Carp) pond.

Here’s on of the General: Douglas McArthur looking around:

The caption on the statue says, ” Japan’s democracy, the father of: McArthur.”

Uncle Doug looking over the Sakura.

And finally just one of the beauty that is Cherry Blossom season here.

So beautiful, too bad it does not last!

Hurry here soon! By next week it will ALL be on the street……

Skippy-san

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. So much beauty wasted………

There are times that I really come to realize: Michelle Malkin is a twit. Now her blog is popular, so through links I get drawn in. Today was one of those days.

As many of you know, it has been exposed that a Republican strategist, Brian Darling, attached to Sen. Mel Martinez staff was the actual author of the memo. Darling resigned and Martinez accepted his resignation. (DUH!). Now people are calling her on it.

According to her people responded thusly:

“Giddy e-mailers are demanding that conservative bloggers, including myself, “retract” and “correct” “right-wing lies” about the Schiavo memo. This one’s typical:

Eat it Malkin!!!! You Repugs have been exposed again. Ha! Ha!

And so’s this one, which was sent to me 18 times (so far): F**K YOU! THE MEMO WAS REAL!

And, of course, there’s the requisite whore mail:
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again… You are a STUPID F****G WHORE! “

( from her blog)

Now that’s a little harsh even if she is good looking. Ranking Republican or no, a republican authored a memo that urged the Republican party to use the Schiavo case for its own twisted political gain. Malkin would have you believe that at best its a misunderstanding, at worst a Democratic fake. If that’s the case why did Darling have to resign?

There are times when even conservative icons such as the Asian beauty herself are wrong. In those instances its best just to shut up and take your lumps like a man…or a woman…(or even a whore). Me, I’ll believe the memo was a fake the day I see Michelle Malkin pose nude in Playboy! Come to think of it that would be a better use of bandwidth.

Skippy-san

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Its about 2 weeks later than normal, but the Cherry Blossoms are finally here! The trees across the street from my office, whose buds have been shut up tighter than a nun’s ass for the last month, are finally showing signs of opening. By the weekend I am sure that the first white signs of the beauty that is the Cherry Blossom season will be upon us. Time to hop on the train and head to Ueno park or to the park adjacent to the Imperial Palace.

I love this time of year. For me it is symbolic of the all the hopes and also the disappointments that I have experienced since I first came to Japan over 5 years ago. At the time fleeing a loveless and sexless marriage to a not so typical American shrew ( meaning she was twice as selfish and twice as whacked in the head.) I arrived in Japan, not knowing what to expect, but not entirely happy to be here. Soon after I arrived it was Cherry Blossom season. Suddenly, going to work each morning was a total joy. On a really good morning, as walked up to my office building, I could see the Cherry Trees and also see Fuji-san quite clearly. And in that moment, I knew I was free and had found an existence that I had been dreaming about for so many years. I knew I had finally crossed over and I could not go back. Now that time has passed, I know that was the right decision, my only regret that I waited so long to do it. I should have sent the shrew packing years ago and gotten my ass over here to Asia.

To me the blooming of the Cherry blossoms is symbolic of both new hope and also, as the years have passed, fear that I cannot maintain this superior existence in the future. My ability to keep working for this company will rapidly evaporate with the coming of the next year. I know that, having milked every opportunity to keep myself in the same job that I have come to both love and hate. Now as the time runs out, I worry for the future, fearing that I will never no life as good as it is now.

When I get in these fits of fearful introspection, I always watch one of my favorite movies. Tonight it was ” A river runs through it“. The part at the end, where Paul catches the really big fish seems particularly apt to my current situation:

“I knew then, that in that moment I was witnessing perfection; my brother Paul stood not on the bank of the Bigfoot River, but suspended above the earth; free from its laws, like a work of art.

And I knew just as surely, and just as clearly, that life is not a work of art. And that the moment could not last.”

Its how I feel about this current period in my life. I desperately want this beautiful existence to continue, to continue my travel and to be insulated from the harshness that is the outside world and most assuredly the life of commuter America. However without gainful employment, a means to pay the crushing payments that always seek to engulf me (the obscene amount of alimony the ex extracted through America’s corrupt family court system), my idyllic existence will not be able to last.

Now I have paid a big price to get to this current state of being. My children, I get to see seldom, my daughter has only spoken to me once since her graduation from High School. My son and I seek to reach out to each other, neither of us really knowing how to communicate; more regrettably neither of us wanting to make the effor that is required. I should feel guilty about that. However, I do not. The only thing I feel guilty about is not feeling guilty. I guess that means I am callous, however I choose to think it means that I have come to realize that life is not fair, and that you have to seek happiness for yourself. No one else is going to give it to you.
I miss my children, but not the life I spent with them. I am also comforted by the knowledge that they are both strong and are survivors. Hopefully some of those characteristics came from me. I believe so.

So with this bittersweet reality hanging over me, I will set out view the new birth and the new life that the budding Cherry Blossoms represents this weekend.

????????

Skippy-san

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Xiaxue, the “star” of Singapore bloggers has some pictures of the Singapore Fashion week shows. Over at her blog: she posted pictures of the lingerie show. Its got my attention. I’m awake now.

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Last night, one of the greatest figures of the 20th century passed on. Whether you are Catholic or not, its hard not have anything but the deepest respect for the man. God keep him and give him peace.

.

Karol Wojtyla was an unexpected choice for pope when he was elected in 1978, aged 58. He was the first non-Italian for 450 years and was seen as an outsider for the job. He took the name John Paul II. One of his first visits was to Poland – the first papal visit to a nation under Communist rule. But his tour gave strength to people and helped sow the seeds of the revolution that would come 10 years later.

After two frail predecessors he was seen as a man of action. He was that and a lot more.

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I’ve been following the exploits of Expat at Large as he visited Phuket. A far better writer than your humble scribe here, he has an animated discussion going about the trials and tribulations of getting involved with bar girls. Expat at Large is not doing it, (he’s smarter than that), but he has posted some great observations. He’s also provided a great reading list on the subject.

My take: Caveat emptor applies here.

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As is pointed out by Mike Krempasky of Red State: “Make no mistake – Democrats and Republicans together got us into this mess, including President Bush – who in the most glaring example of political cowardice of his administration signed McCain-Feingold.
But now that it’s becoming clear what sort of disaster we’re heading for as this law evolves and expands – the Democrats own this one. The Republican members of the FEC have seen the edge of the cliff and are trying to back away, only to be frustrated by the three Democratic appointees on the Commission. So I hope that our friends on the left side of the blogosphere will join us in urging those Democrats to stop this before it’s too late.

Consider it the first opportunity for the left-of-center bloggers to have their very own Sister Souljah moment.”

If this comes to pass, then like everything else in America, sharp witted political commentary will have to be outsourced. It will be us expatriate Americans who may have to save what is left of the First Amendment. Since after all, there’s no crackdown on blogs overseas . (How I wish that were true!)

Geez louise…….Skippy-san

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